For 11 years I’ve been deeply connected to social media, our relationship built upon the foundation of this blog. I’ve seen the good, the bad, and the ugly; often questioning how and why I remain a part of this community during the worst of times. The last few days I’ve struggled to put my feelings into words and articulate my most recent experience with the dark side of social media.
The Power of a Stranger’s Words
A few weeks ago I found myself on the front page of the The New York Times Business Section in “When Mom Slams a Brand on Instagram.” I became involved in the article after a journalist reached out to interview me about a predicament between The Striped Sheep and Tuckernuck. After discussing my involvement in the situation, she had a few more questions about my job as a Mom Blogger. I was more than happy to share everything I know!
Written in November 2019.
We spoke for over an hour about the power of a stranger’s words – the stranger being a Mom Blogger – and how society can put so much trust in a woman they’ve never met. It’s truly fascinating being on both sides of the fence, influencing others and being influenced myself. I follow women who I trust for their honesty and openness on social media and look to them for advice on everything from products to parenting – all the while people follow me for the exact same reasons.
“She’s a Mean Girl with a Laptop”
My first impression of the article was nowhere close to excitement after reading the title: “When Mom Slams a Brand on Instagram.” The intention of the piece, to delve into the influence of a Mom Blogger, was easily missed by many readers due to the impression of a most powerful title. By the time I finished reading the article, my hopes for making a positive impact on the world as a Mom Blogger were shattered by the comments from readers.
There are over 124 comments on the article, but I only allowed myself to read a few. There was more than enough negativity in the comments I read to make me want to crawl in a hole.
Ms. Houston is ‘a mean girl with a laptop’, ‘egotistic,’ and ‘a bored upscale suburban Mom.’
Ms. Houston will never work with another brand after they read this article!
She clearly spends more time with her computer than her children.
The words of these complete strangers publicly tarnishing my character was too much for me to handle. On the same day I planned to celebrate the The New York Times article, I considered quitting my blog. I take great pride in my job as a blogger, but the stinging comments made me question my role in this industry. What if someone reads their words and believes them to be true?!
The Dark Side of Social Media
My purpose for sharing this story is to shed light on one of the many dark sides of blogging. There is criticism lurking around every corner in the influencer world. Sometimes if we are lucky, the critics take their opinions to the public stage. It’s incredible how a strangers’ words can make such an impact on a person, regardless of their validity.
Oh Caitlin,
I’m so sorry this took a sour turn for you. You’re so right, the attention isn’t always positive and it can be hard to keep your head up. I hope it’s encouraging that the folks making these comments aren’t your regular readers, and don’t actually know you. The comments section is always a messy place! Hopefully the article will also generate positive feedback and traffic.
You know the truth… You know your intentions of every post. You know that you shine such bright light in our days. You are real and you are loved. Don’t feed your anxious thoughts because it doesn’t deserve your attention. LOVE YOU
P.s .
Chrissy teigen gets SO much backlash (and it seems like) she never lets it slow her down from continuing to be the real-est ??
I knew when I was reading the article which way the comments were going to go. And my heart broke for you. For standing up with integrity. For being a genuine friend to someone, online or not. For being a good person. God forbid, for being a mom with principles. I stand with you. Tuckernuck was wrong for stealing. Once they removed the products they copied and shared the profits, they admitted guilt. I don’t know you *gasp* in real life (have been a follower since the beginning of the blog), but I’m proud of you.
So sorry to hear that this happened to you. Social media can be a great tool for connecting, but it can also be a dark place. I’m proud of you for overcoming it and for having the courage and strength to share. Xx.
Oh Caitlin! I’m sorry that something that was supposed to be wonderful and positive was misunderstood by a bunch of internet thugs (I always call them that because they usually don’t have that same energy in real life). On the bright side of things, you are on the front page of one of the biggest, if not the biggest news paper in the world. If people take one glance at your blog or instagram, they would realize immediately that you are not whatever pathetic ideas they think you are. Keep being you and remember that with great influence, comes great responsibility (some of those annoying responsibilities are people’s unwarranted opinions). You got this chica! Don’t feel down about yourself!
I’m so sorry you were criticized because of this article. It’s crazy how people have a mean front when they are behind a computer screen. Thank you for bringing awareness about the dark side of social media. Your readers know you best, and those are the ones who will stick around!
http://www.rdsobsessions.com
Oh my goodness! I am so sorry that you are going through this! I feel sometimes people can twist words or things to make it sound more dramatic or different than the reality. And as for the commenters… these people have no lives. They don’t know you, your intentions or how hard you’ve worked to get here. Although this is quite large scale and can seem detrimental to your career, I promise that there is some positive that comes out of everything (including this). In my experience, “unfortunate” situations have always been a blessing in disguise so just keep thinking positive thoughts. I appreciate your honesty and urge you to continue sharing your story and influencing the world. This is a minor setback and I know that it will make you stronger in the long run. Just keep going 🙂 It will all work out. <3
Lizzie
http://www.lizzieinlace.com
THIS. Such a great reminder that people on social media are REAL PEOPLE and words can hurt! You are so awesome for sharing this and being so open.
If any of those people who commented about the NY Times article took a second and watched you daily on IG, they’d realize you are none of that. Clearly they don’t “know” the actually Caitlin that we’ve all come to “know” through IG! Just how they thought you were “a mean girl with a laptop” essentially they are behaving the same way; the difference is they were making comments about someone they know nothing about while you were defending a brand. I watched as that whole Tuckernuck/Striped Sheep issue unfolded, and you stayed true to a brand that was clearly being ripped off by a “big dog” and called them out. That’s not being a mean girl, that’s being loyal to a brand. It’s really crappy people took the NYT article in a negative way, but just know your true followers love you and your honesty!
It’s insane how much blog/influencer shamming that has been going on lately, especially towards mom bloggers and their ability to love and support their children. It’s truly disheartening. I am SO sorry that this happened, but keep your head up – you are doing AMAZING!
Rachel
I’m so sorry to hear that this all took a negative turn which I know was far from your intent! Keep your head up girl!!!
-Morgan
The HER Chronicles [] http://theherchronicles.com
I am so sorry that what should have been a chance to express an educated opinion in a positive light, became so twisted. Strangers on the internet can have a mob mentality and it’s hurtful at best, and mentally destructive at worst. I’ve had a chance to meet you in person, but more over, ‘meet you’ through your posts and Instagram presence. You have been nothing but supportive, funny, and genuine. I find myself nodding in agreement with your funny posts, as your serious ones. Keep talking; we are listening.
Wow, I am so so sorry this happened to your Caitlin. I think we (bloggers) have all been on the receiving end of hate doing what we do, but this was so public and so extreme, I can only imagine how hard it was for you. I hope you keep doing everything you’ve been doing and remember that the people who follow and support you will continue to do so.
Wow I CANNOT believe this! I am so sorry you words were twisted and that terrible title was given to the article. Also for all of the totally unnecessary mean comments that were left. You don’t deserve those and they certainly don’t understand, know, or define you! Love you lady and proud of the work you do.
xo Laura Leigh
http://louellareese.com
I’m so very sorry you had this experience. Nowadays, people are looking for any chance they can get to bring somebody down – whether they really believe it to be so in their heart of hearts or not. It’s awful that you were criticized like this, and I hope you’re finding peace in the fact that those few people have no connection to you and no reason to judge you without meeting you or knowing your story.
Oh girl I’m so sorry! This has to be so hard for you and I know you had the best of intentions about this. Don’t lose heart!