What Happens When You Ignore Your Insecurities? Insecurities fuel anxiety and decrease mental wellness. If you ignore insecurities, they will grow like the most hideous weeds, killing your beautiful garden.
Let’s face it, my mental health has been on a steady decline for the last six months. I don’t want to feel the way I’ve felt any longer, but it’s not that easy. I know I have a long way to go before I’m feeling good again.
A few things happened that helped me come to a HUGE realization. I’ve been hiding from some big feelings and thoughts. It’s not like I didn’t know they were there – because every week in therapy I would talk a little bit about them. I even wrote about some of those feelings. But I never let the feelings be the main focus in my therapy or writing sessions. Instead, they popped into my conversations to say, “Hello” and left as quickly as they entered.
What Happens When You Ignore Your Insecurities?
When you ignore the bad stuff, it doesn’t just go away. Instead, it builds up like hot lava inside a volcano. And then… it just erupts. A few weeks ago I erupted like an active volcano, except I wasn’t angry. I was sad. Some say you’ll know when you’ve hit rock bottom emotionally because you can’t stop crying. And I could not stop crying for one too many days … until I just did.
After you’ve hit rock bottom, you—perhaps for the first time—begin to accept full responsibility for all the outcomes in your life. You see that blaming is futile, that complaining is dumb, and that making excuses is for the unenlightened. You realize it was you who created all the good and all the bad in your life. You dug the hole in which you’re trapped, and only you can dig yourself out of it in order to finally become whole. You realize the bottom is actually a great springboard from which to push yourself up to the surface—away from the darkness and back into the light.
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Once I was able to pick myself up off of the floor, I was able to address the source of my unhappiness in life. Those feelings I mentioned before – they are called insecurities – and insecurities are the most destructive feelings of all time.
Insecurities grow in our mind like the most quietly aggressive weed in a garden. This week while reading an article about removing weeds from my yard, I found it speaking to me on so many levels – not just the literal, but the metaphorical. If you can imagine your insecurities like weeds, this paragraph will blow your mind:
According to the WSSA (Weed Science Society of America), a “noxious” weed is “any plant designated by federal, state, or local government officials as injurious to public health, agriculture, recreation, wildlife, or property.” …. Think about the word “noxious.” Some synonyms for it are deadly, virulent, harmful, dangerous, toxic, environmentally unfriendly, poisonous, nasty, awful. … Noxious weeds are a danger to our environment and the economy. They can take over entire ecosystems, destroy natural habitats, damage agricultural production, and cause losses worth millions of dollars. As they spread to natural areas, they harm wildlife and plants and can be impossible to eradicate.
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It’s easy to visualize our insecurities as weeds in our mental garden. Even the most professional and elaborate gardens have weeds. The worst kind are the noxious ones – the ones that sneak in silently and take over everything. Those weeds are the ones that can ruin all of the beautiful and wonderful things you’ve planted.
How do you get rid of insecurities?
The other day I googled, “How do you get rid of insecurities?” I know it’s not an easy task because I’ve had them my entire life. But something has to change… because my insecurities are crowding my headspace and stealing my joy. I think they are stealing the joy of others as well as they spill out into my relationships with others. In my quest to eradicate my insecurities, I am seeking the appropriate steps to change how I feel about myself.
There was a time when I proudly announced my love for my real self. I even encouraged others to join me on a self love journey. While I thought I was doing a great job at embracing every bit of what makes me me, I missed something. I missed one of the biggest hurdles on the path to loving my real self – and that’s letting go of my past.
Research has shown that 40% of our happiness comes from how we experience recent life events. Failure in any aspect of life can fill people with self-doubt, negatively impacting their self-esteem and confidence.
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Whenever I find myself stuck in a messy cycle of anxiety or depression, I ask myself, “WHY is this happening to me?” Sometimes I can come up with logical reasons, but other times it takes weeks for me to figure it out. At this point in my life I’m very aware of how I fell into Alice’s black hole to scary Wonderland. I ignored my feelings of insecurity.
The first step in overcoming insecurities is to confront your feelings. That’s where I am right now – facing my insecurities head on and trying to figure out what to make of them. Holding on to the past is one of my worst habits and I know how it limits personal growth. Unfortunately a lot of my insecurities are deeply rooted in my past experiences, so I need to dig up their roots and throw them in the trash.
The second step to overcoming insecurities is to set solid goals while adopting a positive growth mindset. Here’s to hoping I can work through step two soon – but first, I must kill those weeds in my garden.
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The first step in change is to recognize what needs to be changed. You are definitely there.
You are so right! Thank you for sharing