The Real Mom Behind the Super Hero Mask

Most kids believe they have a super hero Mom at some point in their childhood. Who else can fight closet monsters and make pain go away with a kiss? The trouble with this vision is this: when do children finally see the real mom behind the super hero mask?

Originally written in 2019. Updated in 2022.

The Real Mom Behind the Super Hero Mask

I often think about my own Super Hero Mom, how I still run to her when I’m sad or scared. She has a magical power that turn tears into smiles and worries into dust. The difference between now and my childhood is I know her true identity. I’ve seen the woman behind the mask and she is just like me – with fears and troubles of her own. She has just always been able to hide it better than others.

My Mom had a way of holding in the stuff that really hurt when we were children. When I was old enough to reflect on the times we experienced a death in the family, I recall thinking how my Mom “kept it together.” I admired her for her strength – she was a Super Hero after all. When she lost her brothers and my Dad’s Mom during my childhood, I remember just a little bit of sadness and a lot of “It’s going to be okays.”

The first time I saw my Mom without her Super Hero mask was during college. I’ll never forget the moment – flooded with raw emotion and absolute transparency. From the sound of her voice to the way her face crumpled and how her body seemed to go limp. And the pain, the pain poured out of her entire body. I felt completely helpless watching the woman who held me up for all these years fall apart before my eyes. In that moment, all I wanted to do was kiss her boo boos and make it all better.

My Mom is human – just like you and me – so it was only a matter of time before I saw her without a Super Hero Mask.

As Annabelle, Ailey, and Arbor grow up, I can only hope to be their constant pillar of support. There will be times when I may fall, as it’s human nature to be overcome by emotion. Ever since the pandemic began, my daughters have seen a more vulnerable side of their Mom. I’ve experienced illness, skin cancer, and two untimely deaths, moments during which I let my feelings show.

When my cousin suddenly passed away four summers ago I hid in my bedroom, using a pillow to muffle my sobs. I thought the the girls were too little to witness my reaction to his death. I worried if I revealed the source of my sadness, I would be toeing the line of preserving their innocence. What I now know is it is okay to talk about death as it is all a part of life.

As I review this post, first written in 2019, I realize ever since I became a Mom, my own Mother has reminded me of her moments showing her own vulnerability that I seem to have forgot. My Mom has taught me its OK to cry in front of your children – to not only show them you FEEL too, but to also normalize the natural act of feeling sad during troubling moments of life.

Read more about A Mother’s Guilt here.

Real Moms Cry Too

Showing true emotion in front of your children allows them to see you are human. It also helps teach them to be comfortable with their own feelings. There is just a right and a wrong time to take down the veil of innocence shielding our children from the darkness and evil in the world.

Some day my daughters will see me without my mask and cape. They’ll realize their Mom is just like them – with her own feelings, her own pain, and her own fears. But for now, let’s just lay here a little while, letting them think I’m made of magic.

Read more about Motherhood on Caitlin Houston Blog

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• Second Pregnancy Thoughts
• Life Lately with Two Daughters