If you want to make 2020 your best year, consider making it a no resolution new year. If resolutions are meant to be a way to fix your flaws, why not put your efforts into improving your strengths? There is so much anxiety associated with new year’s resolutions as we focus on things we dislike about our current selves. For the new year, find ways to quiet anxiety by finding peace in imperfection and celebrating what you love about yourself.
Why I am Not Making a New Year’s Resolution
Last year I made a list of resolutions to “improve my personal and professional life.” Did I succeed in meeting all of my resolutions – NO. For example, I said I would fill out a “One Line a Day” journal every evening before bed. By April I was behind an entire month and spent hours trying to catch up, only to feel like a huge failure for not being able to follow through such a simple resolution.
The feelings associated with not being able to keep up with the journal were pretty crappy, but in hindsight unnecessary. By 34 years old, I should realize I’m not the best at nightly routines when life is often chaotic. A better resolution: record your happiest moments when you remember.
How I’m Learning to Love Myself
This time of year we hear everyone repeating “New Year, New Me” while writing a list of resolutions to transform who you are into someone better. This is the first year I realize I do not have to fix my flaws with a resolution.
During Savasana of my last Hot Yoga class, the instructor talked about the amount of negativity a resolution can bring into your life. If resolutions are based on a desire to change yourself, that means you lack a sense of self worth. This is mind-blowing at first, to think we all don’t like ourselves as much as we think. But it’s evident when considering our society’s most common resolutions are loosely wellness related: lose weight, exercise more, eat better.
We all forget it takes a lot more than a resolution and 365 days to change our flawed parts. Studies say 80% of New Year’s resolutions fail by February for a variety of reasons. I know my resolutions often fail because I’m forcing myself to do something I really can’t to do – like read for ten minutes or write in a journal every-single-night. Resolutions require reflection on personal flaws instead of celebrating all that is GOOD about yourself.
My Goal for 2020
My goal for 2020 is to practice kindness towards myself. Instead of searching for a better illusion of myself by admitting things I am not, I am reflecting on who I already am. My New Year’s tradition involves identifying what goes well in my life – my talents, achievements, helpful habits – and resolving to maintain, protect, and elevate the good.
Today I’m making a list of my strengths, the traits I’m proud of, and putting forth a plan to make them shine brighter. It takes self-understanding, support, and a lot of honest reflection to change yourself – but who says we need to really change who we are at all? Instead of change, I want to grow in the best way possible by nurturing my roots, stems, and flowers.
Can you make 2020 a no resolution new year?
Such wonderful and sage advice! Your own happiness you crests by focusing on your strengths will never diminish as you share your happiness with others. I quit those resolutions awhile back. However I never thought about focusing more on strengths! Thank you and keep up the good work!
I agree with this post wholeheartedly! We spend far too much time looking at our flaws rather than embracing our strengths! keep up the positive thoughts!
I am right there with you girl! No resolutions for me either…I am only focusing on goals and ones that I can easily achieve this year.
That’s so true about resolutions bringing negativity! That is totally not the purpose of making them – what a great perspective. I’m just trying to make small changes and be more focused this year.
Yes girl yes! I have 0 resolutions this year and instead have general goals that I’m breaking down to be manageable. I’m also putting the “why” behind all my goals so I actually get them done instead of doing something similar to what happened with you with the journal.
It sounds like we had some similar thoughts going into 2020. Resolutions can really be frustrating and result in deprecation and an unsatisfied feeling when we’re unable to complete them just so. Instead, positive goals that are meant to be reached towards, but won’t bit your bum if you *don’t* achieve them are much more rewarding! I love your perspective, and I love what your yoga instructor taught on as well!
I’m more of a goal-setter rather than a resolutioner myself! What a great goal you set – loving ourselves and being kinder to ourselves is so important (and something I also need to work on!)
Loving this post girl!! I definitely need to take some time to write some goals for myself for 2020!
YESS to this! Reflecting on who we are rather that what we imagine ourselves to be or should be is so much more positive and usually therapeutic! There are many parts about myself I’ve realized are pretty set – but can be somewhat bent with the right kind of approach rather than trying to drastically change them altogether!
I’ve never been a fan of New Year’s resolutions, so I personally love this! Some good nuggets here! xoxo, Sar
I’m not a huge fan of resolutions either – They always get left in the dust! INSTEAD, I’ve set goals for myself the last few years (usually 5-6) that are both for personal and professional development and it’s worked wonders!
Cheers to 2020!
Rachel
http://www.hello-her.com
I know a lot of people who are doing away with the New Year’s Resolutions thing! I loved reading your take on it and how you feel about it. I think it’s great you still have an overall goal you’re setting for the year to work towards! Xx.
You should be kind to yourself. All of us girls would kill for that beautiful hair of yours.
I have goals instead of resolutions as well. And I totally agree with not needing to fix anything. I’m always trying to . better myself in every way so I plan to do more of that this year as well <3
Lizzie
http://www.lizzieinlace.com
I stopped making resolutions about 5 years ago or so … and I have been happier for it. We grow in life at different timelines which are not necessarily same as the calendar year.
❥ tanvii.com
I love your goal for 2020, so important to be kind to ourselves! Resolutions can be counterproductive, but goals and intentions can definitely help create a positive mindset!
Kileen
cute & little
Resolutions can be pretty annoying and it sets this expectation that can be frustrating when you don’t achieve them. I’m in the same boat. I created a game plan and attainable goals I can reach.
This is such a great blog post, thank you for sharing! I typically create goals – not resolutions!
Resolutions are so hard – I definitely still to concrete GOALS! 🙂 Sounds like you have a great plan that works for you.
Yes, I’m all about setting goals too! My biggest one for this year is to be better about time management and learn how to become a mom to my first baby!!
I love this. I am so hard on myself…I definitely needed this.
Well said. Every time I make a resolution I never achieve it. I’d like to talk with you more because I could use some advice on anything in general.