Self-love is a strange concept – how do you literally love yourself? In the spirit of Valentine’s Day, I am sharing 5 easy ways to start loving yourself today.

Self-love is a state of appreciation for oneself that grows from actions that support our physical, psychological and spiritual growth (Jeffrey Borenstein, M.D., President & CEO of the Brain & Behavior Research Foundation). This seems seems complicated because obtaining a state of appreciation for oneself sounds very time consuming. There are so many factors in our day to day lives that require our attention: motherhood, work, relationships, obligations, family, etc..
Another thought: Is self-love conceited? I grew up thinking people who truly loved themselves were self-absorbed and not enviable. Literature and media portray the most self-loving people as villains. There is a difference between self-love and conceit though – it must be taught to our children AND acknowledged by adults. Self-love isn’t all about one’s self. A healthy self love recognizes the talents and achievements of others. It also means being grateful for the people who help you get where you are today. Conceit is an unhealthy self love filled with egotism and gratitude for oneself (and only oneself).
5 Easy Ways to Start Loving Yourself
Self-love is a strange concept … how do you literally love yourself? In the spirit of Valentine’s Day, I am sharing 5 easy ways to start loving yourself today.
Repeat after me: Self Love is NOT Being Your Perfect Self.
There is no rule that states we have to love everything about ourselves – but there is power in slowly learning to accept your flaws. If there is something you want to change, take the steps towards a new you slowly – with kindness and grace.
“We often define love in this fairytale sense where everything needs to be perfect and then apply that same pressure to self-love, which isn’t realistic,” Whitney Goodman, LMFT, author of Toxic Positivity: Keeping It Real in a World Obsessed with Being Happy.
Try a Positive Affirmation.
It can feel awkward to look at your reflection in the mirror and say out loud: “I am enough.” But try it. Say it three times and see how you feel. The more you do it, the easier it becomes to not only speak kindly to yourself, but to believe what you are saying!
Psychologist Dr. Lauren Alexander states, “Employing positive affirmations doesn’t mean talking yourself into denying the difficulties of your life or the world around you. It could be something positive about a certain quality or a good choice you’ve made, or just something affirming of your self-worth.” Read more here: How Positive Affirmations Work.
Say Goodbye to Toxic People (and things).
Studies show toxic relationships or situations can have a direct effect on your mental and physical health. We only live one life – so live it right. Eliminate anyone or anything that doesn’t bring you happiness. Put distance between the negativity that slows you down. Here are 8 ways to rid your life of toxicity.
Practice Self-Care.
Self-care is one of the easiest ways to start loving yourself. Do ONE thing for yourself today that makes you feel good. Self-care doesn’t have to be selfish or time consuming. Try one of these quick self-care acts: exercise, eat healthy meal, or tidy your space. Here is how to make a Self-Care Checklist.
Write Yourself a Love Letter.
Actively analyzing the positive aspects of your life will jump start you on the road to self-love. Write yourself a love letter thanking YOU for being you. List the ways you are proud of yourself (“I am proud of myself for…”) and compliment your self-perceived imperfections.
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