One of my biggest struggles in life is self-doubt. Within the last year, I’ve become aware of how often I allow negative thoughts to consume me as a Mom and a blogger. Not only am I my own worst critic, but also too sensitive to comparison. I don’t have all the answers, but I want to share the ways I am working to overcome self-doubt.
**Post originally written in 2019 – re-published in 2023**
How to Overcome Self-Doubt
Self-Doubt as a Mom
Every stage of childhood has its challenges and on the worst days, I doubt myself as a Mom. Ailey has a setback in potty training? I should pay more attention to her. Annabelle is mean to a new friend. Did I show her how to behave that way? My babies never sleep at night. I should have never co-slept. The second-guessing and “What if…” questions are in overdrive whenever something doesn’t go right.
To overcome self-doubt as a Mom, I repeat the following positive statements. You are doing the best you can. The perfect Mom does not exist. If your daughters are happy, healthy, and thriving then you are WINNING.
Read more: “Why do people think it’s okay to Mom Shame?”
Self-Doubt as a Blogger
With constantly changing algorithms and a crowded blog society, it’s hard to stand out in 2019. My self-doubt as a blogger stems from the pressure to rank oneself based on “likes” and “followers” instead of engagement and content quality. The best way to extinguish insecurities is to quit playing the comparison game with other bloggers.
“Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt.”
William Shakespeare
Take some time away from looking at others on social media. How do you know you’re addicted to Instagram?Delete the app and see how you feel – or restrict the time you spend online. It is incredible what happens if you only sign on to post your own content and leave.
Silence Negative Talk
How do you find contentment in life when you struggle with self-doubt? Celebrate joy often and never let a win, big or small, go unnoticed. I’m working to silence this little voice in my head who whispers, ‘You’re not good enough.” I’m not sure where it came from, but the negativity can be deafening. It isn’t good to ignore your insecurities, but don’t let them consume you.
One of the ways I’m trying to silence negative talk is by not saying anything to myself that I wouldn’t say to my best friend. Kind, gentle, encouraging words are so much kinder than criticism. I never believed in positive affirmations until I started secretly whispering them to myself.
I am enough, worthy of my dreams, and strong and confident.
More Tips for Overcoming Self-Doubt
- Identify and ease your doubts by saying, “I can’t do X, but I can do Y.”
- Stop listening (or ignore) the people who are trying to bring you down.
- Celebrate your successes (and recall them when the negative starts to creep in).
- Talk to someone about your feelings – sometimes it helps to put it all out there and realize how untrue it all can be.
Great tips, thank you for this.
Such good advice for all ages! That “second voice” in our heads can be sooo strong if we allow it to be! Nice job of expressing ways to remain focused, positive and on track!
Great advice for ALL ages! It is important to fight that second voice of self doubt. Thank you for addressing this.
I’m so bad with this too, especially when it comes to working. Since I’m freelance I have to find clients and haven’t had to do it in years because my 2 clients (used to be 3) were enough work for me to live off of. But lately, I’ve been thinking I’ll need to add a 3rd and it’s giving me so much anxiety because I never think I’m good enough for jobs. I need to just start going for it and knowing I have talent.
I think we’ve all been there at one time or another. I know this is a frequent occurrence in my life. I’ve found that practicing meditation, saying positive affirmations and keeping a record of all of my successes (even the small ones) has helped tremendously!
Lizzie
http://www.lizzieinlace.com
I definitely need to get better at overcoming self-doubt. Thank you for sharing your tips and I’ll incorporate it to my day to day!
http://www.rdsobsessions.com
I love these tips! Sometimes you really need to hear this advice from someone else
This post is so good! As a mom and a blogger, fighting off self-doubt can sometimes be so hard!
Those things to think about at the end were really helpful for me. I’m not always the best at paying attention to the thoughts coming in and out of my head, but instead I just let them pass through without taking the time to identify and STOP them. Thank you for sharing this!
Thank you for sharing! I often doubt myself as a blogger and so this was very helpful!
I have to say that blogging can easily amplify self doubt but knowing how to tackle self doubt is key.
Xx, Nailil
thirtyminusone.com
SIlencing negative talk is such a powerful tool! I need to work better on that. I love the tips for overcoming self-doubt in blogging because it’s so hard with so much competition 🙂
-xo, Azanique | https://www.lotsofsass.com
I see a therapist twice a month and we talk about this often. Especially in blogging, self doubt and comparison is so hard!
I love that mantra “the perfect mom does not exist”. Such a great reminder !