Motherhood is difficult, especially when I think, is there enough of me to go around for everyone?
Some days I don’t feel like there is enough of me to go around.
I imagine myself as an octopus, stretching my 8 limbs in every direction, but never being able to grab a hold onto anything. I have 100% been failing at the mom/wife/sister/friend role in more ways than I can explain. I make lists that are left untouched for a week and forget to return phone calls or reply to texts. I can’t remember important dates (even with my planner open on the counter) and constantly feel disorganized. With my heart wide open to all, I’m worried the most important people in my life aren’t feeling my love.
Motherhood struggle #1: Bad Prioritizing.
I notice the impact of bad prioritizing the most on Annabelle when she begs for attention in the worst way possible – acting out. Sometimes she sneaks away a toy from Ailey. Other times she will be rude to her family members. Or, Annabelle will interrupt me if I’m talking to someone only to say she doesn’t know what she even wanted.
Annabelle has always been cautious with the unknown, but she will intentionally do something she knows is dangerous. If we fail to give Annabelle what she wants, or attention she needs, we’re punished with a tantrum. It’s been exhausting.
Ailey gets the least of me. Second child problems right?
Ailey doesn’t notice my failed multitasking attempts in motherhood as much as big sister. She is content destroying a box of baby wipes and listening to Taylor Swift on repeat. Ailey only needs me to change her diaper and keep her belly full. Obviously, I want to give my baby more since it’s how I raised Annabelle. She was the only child for 2 years and 8 months. Annabelle had my heart, soul, and full attention 100% of the day.
We only get this one life and I want to make it count. I want to be able to hold on to everything with my octopus arms… but I just don’t know how.