Every parent wants to be a positive example for their children. Here are 5 ways to be a strong role model for your daughter (and son too!).
Are you the type of woman you want your daughters to be when they grow up? Setting a good example of how to behave is just one of many ways to be a strong role model for your daughter.
Note: If you want to be a good role model for your children, use these tips below. These tips pertain to raising boys and girls.
1. Watch Your Insecurities
There are some things that we should never share with our children in an excessive way. Insecurities regarding appearance and weight are at the top of my list. If my daughters hear me talking about “looking fat” “feeling ugly” or “not being smart enough,” they’ll eventually question themselves. I can’t protect my daughters from the world, but I can teach her how to love the girl she sees in the mirror for all that she is. A good role model hides her insecurities.
Weight, appearance, and intelligence are three characteristics that should never be measured by society’s standards. Children should love who they are regardless of what someone else defines as perfection.
2. Be Conscious of Who is Listening
At what age do children begin to comprehend adult conversation? The other day I was talking to my sister about my insecurities as a Mom and a blogger. Annabelle was sitting next to me, playing quietly, but listening intently. At that moment, I realized it was time to start taking my phone calls somewhere private. It’s crucial to keep children out of ear shot when it comes to adult conversations. There are some behaviors my daughters don’t need to mimic and doubting one’s self worth is at the top of the list.
I make sure to time to talk to my daughters about various topics so they feel important too. Here are questions to ask your daughter.
Want more? Check out: “A Mom’s Struggle with Adapting to the Next Stage of Childhood”
3. Work Hard, but Remember to Play
It sucks to be told the truth by a five year old. A few weeks ago, Annabelle pointed out my latest flaw, “All you do is work and never play with us.” Since taking on a part time job in addition to my blog, I’ve dedicated my every waking moment to work.
Then we went on a weeklong vacation without internet where I couldn’t work and I remembered what it’s like to HAVE FUN. Be a role model for your daughter by working hard, but always make time to play.
Role models distinguish themselves in such a way that others admire and want to emulate them.
4. It’s okay to be weak, but remember to be strong too.
There is a right time and a wrong time to be weak. During some of the most difficult times in my life I’ve hidden my true emotions from my daughters. Don’t get me wrong, the girls have seen me cry before. My daughters understand crying is a natural release for physical or emotional pain. However, when my cousin died suddenly last summer, I kept the heart wrenching sobs and hyperventilating behind closed doors. Little people shouldn’t see emotion they cannot comprehend, especially when they can’t help.
5. Foster kindness, empathy, and good manners in your children.
As parents it is our job to foster kindness, empathy, and good manners in our children. They learn from example – so if you’re rude, your kids may be too. However hard you try to be the GOOD person you want your children to be though, society can ruin your work.
When we learned Annabelle was unkind to a classmate a few months ago, my heart broke. After speaking to the teacher, the parents of the classmate, and Annabelle, I realized her behavior was imitating a character in a show she enjoys. We had a long talk about empathy and treating others the way we want to be treated. She also stopped watching the show… and in no time Annabelle was back to her sweet self. Don’t let your child be influenced by the bad in the world.
I know I have made mistakes in parenthood, but I can remedy all the wrong by starting over. I want to be a strong role model for my daughters – they are our future after all.
Read more posts about Motherhood here.
Yes indeed it all begins when you least expect it, they are listening so most important is to be aware as my Mom said “little pitchers have big ears” they will mimic and feel what you feel.
Anna Feindt says
Hello Caitlin, I’m not even a mom, but I think your post is really helpful and I definetely enjoyed reading it. Thank you for this blog and providing so many people with advice and useful information. You seem like such a kind and strong person, I hpe that if I’ll ever have children, or even just when I’m an adult, I’ll be as amazing as you.
There are so many good gems in here, Caitlin. Like your kiddo, my 3 year old listens to EVERYthing I say – she is so observant and picks up on so much. I’m always conscious not to criticize myself in front of her. Over time, as she gets older, I hope to be honest that I’m not perfect and occasionally have self-doubts, so that she knows she doesn’t have to be perfect either. There’s so much pressure on girls today! Thanks for this piece 🙂
Caitlin, I loved this post and I absolutely adored your sweet family photos. Your girls are lucky to have you! I agree with everything in this post. I wouldn’t hide my insecurities because we all have them and its ok, but I am definitely careful with how I act and what say about myself in front of others. My dad dated a woman that constantly made comments about her weight, especially when she ate (even though she looked great) and I started noticing how my little sister would stop eating around her and how she would pinch her belly in the mirror (at only 10 years old!) because she was worried about “getting fat” because of what our father’s girlfriend would say. Kids pay more attention to us than we think. So I tried my best to lead by example. Being a mom I’m sure is a lot more involved than being a big sister. Great tips for mothers! I only hope I can do this one day.
Shannon Freda says
You hit the nail on the head in this post. Raising strong secure women is so important. I have 4 daughters and the struggle is real! 😉
These are some great tips! Kids hear way more than we think they do. When they become older their actions also tend to mimic what they have learned at home. I am sure your daughters will grow up to be great young ladies!