The worst kind of fight happens between what you feel and what you know. Fears of the unknown are my biggest battle.
I woke up this morning to my first internal battle since our normal lives came to a screeching halt. As someone who has struggled with anxiety from to catastrophic thinking for years, I knew this was coming.
They say the worst kind of fight happens between what you feel and what you know. Right now I feel like I should stay positive, but I know we are in the midst of a pandemic. I’m having arguments with myself about how to react and what emotions I should allow to take over.
It’s a daily struggle to not cry when I read something scary. I know it’s healthy to allow tears to fall when you’ve overcome with sadness, but I worry. The reality of not knowing what our future may hold overwhelms me at times, but I’ve been able to stay above the fear.
Read More: How I Handle My Emotions
Two weeks ago I thought everyone was overreacting as they stock piled their homes with food, toilet paper, and cleaning supplies. Were they right to prepare for the worst? Was I wrong to not join the manic crowd? I don’t know… I just think all of hoarding was a mistake, causing more feelings of panic among the most calm people. The way I process this: ignore the pessimism, gloom, and cynicism.
I can’t do anything to change what’s already happened, nor can I do anything to change what may happen tomorrow. What I can do is hope for the best and keep my family safe.
WE ALL HAVE DIFFERENT WAYS OF COPING WITH FEARS OF THE UNKNOWN.
All I can do is be present in this moment, planning my day with educational activities and creating happy moments for my family. I can’t look towards tomorrow because it’s too scary and sort of blurry. Frankly, staying present is the only way I stay grounded.
For me, I do better when I avoid the negativity. The more I allow myself to think of what may happen to our society, the less control I have over my anxiety. Moving forward I will continue to live as I have been – finding reasons to laugh, dance, and smile.
Michele Paglinco says
What you are doing is putting into practice the “Fight or Flight” thinking ? that is normal in human nature. It’s normal to have anxiety and it’s normal to know when to stay and fight your fears and it’s normal to run (flight) from fears that can hurt you. You sound like a healthy woman to me. My faith in God helps me from thinking about the “what if’s” so much and keeps me in the here and now. I like the fact that I will always have something to overcome. Thanks for sharing your blog ?