Last week I bared my soul a little bit… without revealing too much I let you all in on a secret. I don’t always love what I see when I look in a mirror. It felt good to get a lot of what I said off my chest because insecurities are a heavy weight to drag around. I want to be an encouraging role model for my daughters, someone who they look up to for positivity and strength, but honesty is the key to being that person I want to be. I truly believe if we are in touch with what’s inside than we can be a better person on the outside.
Here’s another secret – I’m seeing a therapist. The reasons I contacted her are too personal for this blog, but in a nutshell, I need someone to help me sort through all that I’m feeling. For too long I’ve tried to push down what I’ve been feeling. This isn’t the first time I’ve sought help… the first time was my freshman year of college after a scary panic attack. Another time was when my parents were on the verge of a divorce. The third was a direct result of the depression and anxiety I felt teaching in Baltimore City. Each period I spent with a mental health counselor was beneficial to my emotional wellness – they all had insight into my thought process I never would have discovered on my own. I learn more about the woman I am and the woman I want to become when I talk through difficult times in my life.
I know for a fact I’ve been suffering on and off from postpartum depression and anxiety. Yes Ailey is about to be one, but I’m breastfeeding and that can do a number on your hormones. PPD/PPA is a very scary, very real life-altering disorder… and if you’re worried you might be struggling through something unexplainable after having a baby, seek help. Don’t hide it inside.
I’m trying very hard to settle the little bit of madness I feel I’ve fallen into … and I’m looking at each day as a new day to be positive, honest, and reflective. Thanks for listening … thanks for the support… <3
Good for you! I’ve always thought that if you think you need to talk to someone, you probably do. It’s a great idea. Hope it is helping you.
I could have written your last post about body image. Yikes. I have not felt/looked what I felt was “my best” since before I had my babies … nearly 4 years now.
Love your honesty! I’ve been seeing a therapist for a year & it’s so so so good for my well being!! Hang in there, tough seasons don’t last but tough people do <3
I’m with you! There are good weeks and bad weeks. I’ve found recently it helps me to keep busy with productive, fulfilling projects to keep my depression at bay. Sometimes I wonder if the busy is just a distraction, but as long as what I’m busy with is actually positive, I think it’s okay for now. I would love to find a good counselor, though! I used to go regularly in college — they’re such a wonderful resource!
Thank you for your transparency. Talking to someone is one of the best things you can do. My 14-month old is in the process of self-weaning, and I’ve been experiencing horrible depression and anxiety. I remember you mentioning that you experienced that as well. It always helps to know that we’re never alone and that others have been there and understand ❤️
Thanks for your openness and honesty. I needed to be reminded that therapy IS helpful, and nothing to be ashamed of. I have been in therapy during difficult times of my life and when dealing with bouts of depression and anxiety. Ironically, when I needed a session most, is when I least wanted to go. It was almost like I wanted to “hold on” to my worries, hurts and sadness. But I’ve always felt better after my appts and was thankful that I didn’t back out. Looks like it’s time for another appt, and your reminder has made it easier for me to make! Ty ❤️
Love your transparency on here! I deal with a lot of emotional problems and struggle with my appearance as well. (sort of a secret for me as well with people who know me) Im glad your getting help and also happy to hear your sessions help you. I am actually thinking about seeking help, but wasn’t sure if I should or not.. but this post inspired me that I should. You’re a strong and beautiful woman! I always love coming to your blog reading about your life and family. Stay strong! xoxo
Katie | http://www.meshkomoments.com
I always love reading each and every one of your posts. You’re always honest and I’m always reminded that everyone is fighting some sort of battle – we’re all in this together. So thank you, for always being an inspiration to so many others!
Love you honesty! Amen. Sometimes we need it! Take care of you, you’re no good to anyone else if Momma isn’t healthy. Hugs