Parent separation anxiety is a REAL thing. On Friday Brandon and I are leaving for our first adults only trip without Annabelle. To say that I am anxious about leaving our little one would be an understatement.
I am downright sick to my stomach about saying, “Goodbye.” I’m so nervous that when we had a health scare with Annabelle, Brandon suggested we cancel our trip and I was more than okay with it.
My Thoughts on Parent Separation Anxiety
I know it is healthy for parents to getaway from their children every once in awhile, but going away isn’t easy. I have only ever been away from her for one night at a time – on three occasions – and this will be THREE nights away on the other side of the country. It takes FIVE hours (if we have a direct flight) to get home in case of an emergency… and that doesn’t include time it takes to get to and from the airport. What if something bad happens?! WHAT IF SHE CRIES FOR ME AND I AM NOT THERE?!
Answer: She will survive.
The truth is – she is in GREAT hands. The woman who raised Brandon will be taking care of her and I trust her with every ounce of my body. She is amazing with Annabelle, so why should I worry?
I worry because separation anxiety is normal. If I didn’t want to be around my child, then there would lie a real problem.
I read somewhere that separation is an important part of attachment. When parents allow their children to be cared for by others, it builds a sense of trust in the child for their community and world.
Sadly, with the knowledge of everything that can go wrong in this world, it is hard for me to say goodbye. As a Mother I want to be able to protect my child, but I must remind myself that my presence will not alter the future. Parents have no control over what may or may not happen.
In the end, adult time is necessary for sanity and happiness.
Since our marriage is the foundation our family is built upon, it’s important we tend to that relationship. Spending time alone, without interruption, will strengthen our bond as husband and wife. We can say bad words and act irresponsibly without our little leader ordering us around. We can talk about love, life, or inappropriate things that won’t be repeated by our Princess. We can devote all of our attention to one another – and our moments will be unbroken by parenthood.
We left #babybigtruck for the first time over night for 2 nights when she was just 9 months old with my mom who I obviously trust with my entire being. We drove 5 hours upstate NY -we live in NJ- on the first night I called to check in on her and #babybigtruck was loosing her mind because she was being put to bed by someone other than mommy somewhere other than her own crib and she had such a terrible diaper rash on top of it all. I heard her crying and carrying on and it honestly broke my heart but I knew she was in great hands and that her being with my mom was the closest thing she was going to get. I hung up and I cried a bit but knew that she would be ok and at I would be ok. Not 10 minutes later did I get a text from my mom telling me that she was peacefully sleeping. The first time you leave them is the hardest! We’ve since left her over night may times and now my mom stays at our house with her which is great because she gets to sleep in her crib and we’ve never had any other problems since! Moral of the story you will be okay! She will be okay! Go enjoy yourselves and know that your daughter is in the hands of someone you trust to take care of her! Good luck!
I don’t blame you, I’d feel the same way. We’ve only left our daughter alone once when both of us have been gone. Each of us has had a night alone here and there but we’ve only BOTH been gone once. It’s a big deal! I hope you have a lot of fun.
We did a week in PR last winter, leaving our son for the first time. I was a wreck about it up until we left for the airport. I knew he would be fine, but I seriously was scared he’d forget who I was! Crazy, right? Anyway, once we were in the air, I relaxed and we had the most amazing time reconnecting.
Bonus: When we got home and picked him up, he gave me the world’s longest hug. 🙂