Raise your hand if you have ever had a Mom Temper Tantrum. *Caitlin raises two hands* Over the weekend I put on an embarrassing performance in front of my children with a full on Mom Temper Tantrum. I could feel the fire of frustration brewing inside, but couldn’t put it out before it spewed everywhere.
I woke up this morning with a pit in my stomach, reliving everything I did yesterday. There is no point in explaining the events leading up to my tantrum, but there were a lot of factors involved. Let’s just say I have a history of overreacting when I’m anxious. If something is out of my control (or I have a lot on my plate), I can be extra sensitive. In these instances, I need time and space to cool down. Unfortunately I was too tangled in frustration to walk away to reset.
So I yelled. A lot. I packed up my children’s toys angrily and put them in the basement. I said some not so nice things to my girls and sent them to their room. There were lots of tears all around.
It was far from my finest moment as a Mother.
Motherhood can be filled with moments when we don’t want to admit defeat. I had big plans for our Sunday, but when things weren’t going my way by lunchtime I should have known to change course. Instead, giving fair warning beforehand, I erupted like a volcano. I’m very thankful for a husband who came to my rescue and forgiving children who know this behavior is abnormal.
It’s never easy to admit when you have done something wrong. My Mom has always said there is power in an apology – and now as a Mom of three I understand it on a whole other level. She’s always taught me it’s better to apologize and to admit your wrong doings than to defend your misbehavior.
Being a Mom is hard.
Being a Mom is hard for countless reasons, especially with the emotional and mental load we carry. It’s near impossible to not drop one of those things (patience, daily schedules, etc.) we carry around all day. Who can actually remain calm, organized, and understanding at all times? It is not realistic. Mothers are not meant to be symbols of perfection.
Unfortunately, it is not my first time losing my cool in front of my kids – and sadly it won’t be my last. The good news is that we, as Moms, can find ways to fall gracefully. There are bathrooms to hide in for a few moments when we need to calm down. And when the storm has settled, you apologize. Admit your own wrongdoings. This behavior not only teaches our children humility and vulnerability, but also strengthens the relationship between a parent and a child.
What to Do After a Mom Temper Tantrum
- Breathe. Calm down. Find a safe space to decompress.
- Communicate with your child only after you’ve calmed down and APOLOGIZE. Try to explain what happened and why it happened. You never want your child to be afraid of you. Plus, communication is an effective way of rectifying mistakes and healing broken bonds (source).
- Just like Elsa says, “LET IT GO.” Forgive yourself. Humans make mistakes. YOU are human.