Recently I noticed that the posts on my blog make it seem as if I have all the answers about being a Mom and having a baby. Truth is (and you shouldn’t be surprised) that I don’t know everything. A lot of what I post comes from experience or research… trial and error… or advice from other Moms. I belong to a few Mom Facebook groups that I often reach out to when I am in need of some help. Today I decided that it’s time for me to reach out to YOU. If you’re a Mom, or even a childcare provider, maybe you can help!
Weaning – I am trying to get Aunt Flo back into my life… and the only way for that to become possible is for me to cut back on breastfeeding. Prolactin is the hormone that allows my body to produce milk and also keeps my period away. I cut back on pumping during the day, but now Annabelle just wants to nurse in the middle of the night. If I refuse, we have an epic meltdown that lasts for an hour (and we never let her cry for that long).
My question for Moms is…
How do I get my 15 month old to stop nursing in the middle of the night?
Eating – Annabelle has the most confusing eating habits. Sometimes she wants to eat, eat, eat all day long. Other times she doesn’t want anything to do with food. Any ideas on her inconsistent appetite?
Tantrums – My sweet little Princess is notorious for throwing fits when she doesn’t get her way. Lately I have noticed how she has more and more control over her tantrums. Sometimes we can snap her out of it with the mention of something she loves (going outside), but other times she just rolls back and forth on the floor wailing. How do you handle toddler tantrums?
Television – Does your toddler watch tv? Annabelle has never shown interest in television until recently. She LOVES Sesame Street – not the whole show, but anytime Elmo or The Count comes on to sing and dance. I know that Sesame Street isn’t the worst thing she can watch, but I worry about her watching television since most studies say that children shouldn’t watch it until they are 2. And then their tv time should be limited. Do you think a little tv is okay for a 1 1/2 year old?
I would love some advice!
On eating: I’ve heard that you should consider the baby’s WEEK of eating, not individual days, because it can fluctuate day to day. My LO seems to do the same thing, some days she can’t get enough and others she seems to not be hungry. Annabelle is certainly thriving so I’m sure whatever you’re doing for food is perfectly fine. Just let her decide and don’t force it if she seems full.
On TV: we let LO watch TV. I mean, we don’t park her in front of it for long periods, but she’s often in the room while we have the news on getting ready for work, or sometimes we watch Sesame Street for her. I really don’t see it as that big of a deal. My personal philosophy is moderation and common sense.
I think it’s funny that now that I’m a mom, I realize that moms often have no idea what they’re doing and are completely guessing. When you’re a kid you think they know it all — hahaha! Sure we do, right?
Seriously I always thought Moms knew EVERYTHING. I still do think my Mom knows everything…. haha. Thanks for the advice!
yes a little TV is totally fine! they would never be captivated enough at that age to watch more than a little here and there, and it’s fine. Elmo the Musical would be awesome for her, since it’s ALL Elmo!
I MUST check that out! Thanks!
I have the same struggle with night weaning- I have gotten Chase down to only nursing at bedtime (it was tough for a few weeks in the middle of the night when he woke up- I distracted him by showing him videos of himself on my phone until he fell back asleep but sometimes he cried for a bit)- I still haven’t gotten my period back. I stopped pumping a couple months ago and only nurse that one time a day. I started by not nursing him between 12-4am, which is when I read that the prolactin levels are highest. I would nurse him before 12 and after 4 but not during that time period and over a couple of weeks he started to get it. It makes it really hard to do anything at night though because he is so dependent on that last nursing session. I am ready for him to be totally weaned but he isn’t . I think TV is fine in moderation. I know he doesn’t watch it at daycare so I don’t mind if we have it on here- he loves mickey and Frozen and watches the same way Annabelle does- mostly the intro, end, and just the songs. No interest in the actual content. Same here with tantrums- we just distract him. I think that’s all you can do at this age!
Thanks for your input Rachel! I am worried that my period won’t come back since she keeps insisting on nursing. Who ever thought I would want my period back?!?! I did hear that nursing at night is when Prolactin is highest too, so I definitely need to cut back on that. Someone shared a great blog post with me about how to night wean in 7 days that I will definitely start tonight!
I hear you on that! I didn’t think I would want it back either. I would have thought being down to nursing 1x a day it would be back but so far nope! I think it might take a bit for our bodies to adjust? He still tries to nurse all the time, I jist keep distracting him. Eventually he will stop trying to pull my shirt down right?:)
Haha I sure hope they stop doing that. She tried to point to my Mom’s boob and then her Dad’s chest and they had to explain that Mommy was the only one with milk hahah!
My opinion on TV is this. I know my parents let me watch tv as a toddler, and probably even as a baby. I don’t think I am suffering from it! I believe that the more that time advances, the more we know, and I am thankful for that knowledge that wasn’t around when we were kids. But I also believe in a little of “it didn’t kill me so it’s probably fine”. I think the fact that you are conscious of it shows that you will probably never let her watch too much!
Thanks for commenting Brittany! I always think of how I was raised and believe I turned out pretty well… but certain literature these days is so convincing that some of the things I was allowed to do as a kid are “wrong.”
My LO is 15 months and I’m guilty of TV in the morning. She watches Mickey Mouse clubhouse and honestly it’s the only time I can have some hot coffee before our hectic day. She doesn’t neccessarily sit and watch she likes to more for the noise. (Well until the theme song and hot dog song comes on that she watches). I think as long as the child isn’t stationed in front of the TV all day your fine as well as they aren’t watching a bad show (I’ve heard terrible things about a show caillou.). Your doing a great job!
Thanks Leah! It is good to hear that other Moms let their kids watch some TV. I always believed if she wasn’t watching it 24/7 it would be okay… sort of like a treat.
The inconsistent appetite is totally normal. They aren’t growing as fast at this age, so they don’t want to eat as much, combined with wanting to have control over something, and their eating habits are something they can easily exert control over.
I never thought about it in terms of control! Thanks for sharing. It totally makes sense since she is such a little Miss Independent.
Tantrums- I wish I had an answer for! My daughter is 20 mths and has been a terror lately! She has recently started biting, UGH. We have started timeout with her, we’ll see how that works.
Television- “they” say no TV til 2. Worked fine with my son, he had no interest before he was 2. My daughter loves Mickey Mouse, and yes we let her watch it, it’s hard to say no with an older child in the house. My general thought is, if you are concerned about it you are probably doing fine- do I read to my child enough? If you are concerned about it you probably do. Does my child watch too much tv? If you are concerned your probably fine because you are conscious of it.
Oh biting sounds terrible! Annabelle is only naughty when she wants attention and it usually involves doing things like slamming the blinds on the back door or hitting the fireplace screen. I fear the day when/if she figures out she can bite!
So I can’t help you on weaning (Abbie decided she was done nursing at 6 months), but on the other stuff:
Eating: This is TOTALLY normal. I’ve read multiple places that toddlers are very likely to eat a lot at one meal and very little at others, and this can apply to days too. As long as she’s gaining weight and her diapers are normal, I wouldn’t worry about it too much.
Tantrums: Abbie definitely has a temper, but the best thing I’ve found is to distract her with something she CAN have. Their attention spans are short at this age, so changing direction helps. Honestly though, sometimes I just let her have the tantrum. She’s got to learn that we’re the ones in charge and deal with it. Besides, the tantrum will be over in a little bit and then she’s back to her sweet self. Oh, toddlers.
TV: I always feel like I should feel guilty for Abbie watching as much TV as she does…but I honestly don’t. We’re TV people in that it’s pretty much always on. Sometimes it’s our shows, and sometimes it’s hers. She watches a lot of Disney Jr. and some Nick Jr., and LOVES the music. I don’t worry about it too much. The music makes her happy, there’s educational stuff in there, and you know what? Sometimes we need a break. My sisters (who are 9, 10, and 13 years younger than me) watched a lot of Barney growing up and they’re absolutely fine for it. I think some TV is not a big deal, as long as you still get her playing with you and outside when you can. Abbie loves being outside and will absolutely walk away from the TV whenever we say the word outside. A little Elmo is going to be just fine for your girl.
Isn’t it how funny they can turn the tantrum switch on and off??! Thanks for sharing your experience.
My daughter Brynn will be turning 2 this July.
Eating- some days she will devour everything and keep asking for more. Other days there are times will she will barely eat a thing. Her pediatrician said on those days keep trying little things but don’t force it, she’ll it if she’s hungry enough too. And on the binge eating days it may just be attributed to a growth spurt, since it’s not happening every day thing just go with it.
Television- Brynn has no interest in tv unless we put on Monsters University or Frozen. She’ll stop whatever she is doing and watch about half of either movie. Yes research says wait until age of 2 but as long as she’s not watching all day I personally don’t see any harm in it. But again that’s just my opinion.
Tantrums- Brynn has them from time to time and our pediatrician said they are completely normal. Brynn will even throw herself on the ground if she doesn’t get her way. They said that it’s the only way babies first know who to show their anger and is normal. As long as she’s not hurting herself it’s ok. Also, babies at this age can be easily distracted with thing that may be able to stop their tantrum.
Hope these help!
Thanks so much! I didn’t think about the fact that her tantrum is the only way she knows how to express her anger. Makes so much sense…
As far as night weaning, I would try having your husband handle wake-ups. See if he can soothe her. She probably associates you with milk. I night weaned my son around 16 months because I knew he didn’t need the food (we weren’t breastfeeding at that point).
TV really isn’t a great idea until age 2 because it interferes with how the brain develops. I would try to avoid it as much as possible.
Unfortunately she swats my husband away at night and won’t let him pick her up. She will scream and scream if I don’t come in… and we don’t believe in allowing her to scream it out. I just read an article that says to try to talk to her about my milk itself and how there isn’t any milk at night, but only when the sun comes up. I am going to try a 7 day night weaning approach… and slowly bring my husband back into the mix towards the end of the 7 days! Thanks for the advice!
Yeah, my son won’t tolerate my husband at night either. 🙁 I totally understand because we won’t do CIO / screaming either. One other suggestion might be to shorten nursing times when she wakes up – if she’s getting less milk at a time gradually, she might stop waking up for it.
Good luck! 🙂
You’re right, being a mom you don’t have all the answers, because a lot of parenthood, especially motherhood is trial and error and learn as you go. I weaned my son at around 15 months, and the main thing that helped was the introduction of food.
The other thing that helped was that he was going to spend time with my in-laws about once a month leading up to the weaning, so he had to get used to eating and not being around me and able to nurse. So basically it seemed as if time away from me helped to facilitate in that process. The rest of weaning was just kind of cold turkey and he just finally got the idea that nursing would be no more. I ended up dropping pretty much all his feeds at the same time, and fortunately he slept through the night from 8-9 months on, so he was never getting up in the middle of the night to nurse…I’m sure that made it a little easier, since the before bed feed was the main one that needed go and it was the last one to go too.
Tantrums, well that’s something new we’re dealing with and it appears as if the older, stronger, and smarter they get, the tantrums get worst. The hard part now is that he still not completely verbally, so the communication piece makes it difficult for both parties. Its just something I work through, and honestly I have to ignore him or put him in time out (which basically means he gets put down for a nap). Most of the time I know what triggers his tantrums, either sleepiness or food (wanting whatever I’m eating, even if he’s just eaten) so I just talk to him and try to get him to calm down, but firmly and with love. If that doesn’t work and he’s going bonkers I take his hands and hold them gently and continue to talk to him. If that doesn’t work I then resort to “time-out” (which is usually the case if he’s sleepy anyways). I find that if he’s throwing a tantrum over anything else that I can usually use distraction to get him refocused on something else.
For tv, yes my son watches a little bit and enjoys children’s programming. We have a tv in our bedroom and because he’s in here so much with me, I’m guilty of having it going in the background sometimes. Fortunately, its still usually on children’s programming though. I would like to cut that time down and get better about not having it playing in the background however. Fortunately, he’s a busy body and after a little while he’s up trying to play with me (crawling and jumping all over me!) or playing with his toys and such in the room. Its definitely something I need to work on, especially as he gets older!
We had good luck with The Sleepeasy Solution– it involved truly minimal amounts of crying. My daughter was sleeping with us and waking up sometimes hourly to nurse. I was a zombie. I did a lot of reading and found out about that book/method. If you aren’t willing to let her cry AT ALL then it might not work for you, but the longest we had to “let her cry” (which was really more yelling because we put her in her crib awake, etc. and she was confused/mad) in a night was about 25 minutes all together, and that involved multiple “check-ins”. We went from co-sleeping and frequent night nursing with a 9+month old to basically sleeping through the night in her crib, at least making it 6 hours/quick nurse/6 more hours– in a matter of days. It is all about getting her more milk during the day to offset what she has grown accustomed to having at night. Then maybe try cycling in some non-dairy/lactose-free milk during the day to replace your breastmilk, so she is getting the same amount of fluid.
I agree with others about the TV– moderation, and also not using it as a babysitter.
I cant help you on the breast feeding. But little ones are picky with food. One day Ryan will eat a grilled cheese, the next day he wont. For a week he loves pasta, then he hates it. I would love to know what goes on in their little brains! He refuses to try new foods with us, but at daycare he does it all the time (probably because the other children eat it too). They will never starve themselves, and will eat when hungry so I wouldn’t worry about that.
As for TV. everything in moderation I believe. Im sure your reading and playing and doing everything else with her, so TV here and there wont hurt her. Right now Ryan is 2.5, he watches about 20 mins of Mickey or Thomas in the morning while I get ready, otherwise I could never out of the door. Then another short show when he gets home, and another short one before bed. Is that too much? Who knows, but it works for us.
You are doing great as a mom! Its a never ending learning experience!!!
So on the weaning thing…have you tried to offer her a sippy cup instead of nursing? Tantrums…oh man I feel ya on this! #Babybigtruck has started with this and she is only 10.5 months. Can we say strong personality?!?! I have tried and had success with offering her something else when she flips out. Most times it works sometimes it does not. Good luck!! TV….again my daughter is 10.5 months and she watches Mickey Mouse Club House. I typically put it on when I am trying to get something done like make dinner or if I have to give her her nebulizer treatment. Other than that she does not sit for hours on end watching TV then again we are typically always doing something or going somewhere.
Hope that helps!
In regards to getting “Aunt Flo” back, I started taking extra B6 when Ella was about 11 months. She was still nursing and I was ready to get pregnant again but still hadn’t gotten my period regularly. After a month of B6 and still nursing we found out we were pregnant on Ella’s first birthday. I know that’s not my period but I read it works the same way with regulating your cycle again. I was worried about nursing while pregnant, so I stopped cold turkey. She was okay with it and loved getting a new “big girl” sippy cup!
On TV, Rhys is only 8.5 months old. But when he was 7 months old, he got very, very sick and very, very upset. My husband and I love Family Feud with Steve Harvey, and for some reason, it calmed him down. So, we watch one episode right before his bedtime to help calm him down. I try to limit his TV, but we do watch one show in the morning to help him concentrate on his first morning bottle. I think if you have them watch *in moderation* educational shows (like Sesame Street), but also make sure there is plenty of play time and reading.
For weaning…I would cut down her nursing time. I stopped nursing her to sleep and would lay her down drowsy till she got used to putting herself to sleep. If she was crying/whining (not screaming) when I laid her down I would set a 10 minute timer and if she was still crying then I’d start my process over. Just every nursing session I would cut shorter and shorter till I felt she was ready to do without it. I would also attempt to rock her if she was upset. Or I would rub her back while she was in her crib (sometimes for 15+ minutes) to try and soothe her. Then eventually she started sleeping through the night. I hope you find something that works for y’all!! 🙂
Weaning – No advice here as we did not nurse, I exclusively pumped.
Eating – Dakota is 15 months…she used to eat everything and anything I put in front of her. Now she’s excessively picky (for her) and often just takes a few bites. Other times she is eating me out of the house! I think it is perfectly normal. Her appetite goes up and down especially with teeth coming in.
Tantrums – My girl also loves to throw tantrums! I might make a comment such as “I can’t understand you when you are screaming” then let her release her energy lol. I never give her the item in question when she is screaming. Sometimes ignoring her just makes her more mad, so often we will take her into her room and distract her with something else. Once she is calm, she can ask for the item (usually food) again. If she is crying because she wants to be held and I am occupied, I just let her know I will hold her when I am done and I don’t pick her up right away if she freaks out. I also take it as an opportunity to teach her to use words. I say “do you want a hug? say up” or “are you hungry? say nomnom please”. That cuts down on the crying a lot.
Television – I let my daughter watch one show in the morning with her milk (if it’s a slow morning and we have nowhere to be soon) and one show in the evening before bed. She watches it off and on, not the entire time. If she’s not paying attention to it I turn it off. If she’s having a bad day or really fussy I might use it as a quick distraction to be able to get food prepared once in a while.
on weaning: send your husband in instead, i know, he needs sleep too, so do it on a weekend or a long weekend and don’t give in and go in. if you’re bedsharing wrap your boobs up in a sports bra and wear a turtleneck. no access. comfort her another way.
on appetites. kids are weird. they have days where they’re hungry, days where they aren’t. its all normal but can be frustrating because you never know what to expect.
on tantrums. consistency is key. and they get worse before they get better. don’t be a fool like me and reward tantrums by saying “we can go the park if you stop crying” because then she’ll cry in hopes it will lead to the park. they’re smart like that.
Tv is my sanity as a mother. if my kids didnt watch TV id be in a mental ward somewhere. sometimes the only time i pee alone all day is the 23 minutes that sofia the first is on at 9 am.
How many times a day are you nursing/ pumping? We worked out all of matthews day sessions and pumping before finally getting rid of the night nursing. that was the hardest part! He would wake up at night and want to nurse as well, we would give him a bottle but he wouldn’t take it at first. He could smell me when I held him and wanted to nurse, so we changed our routine, my husband would get him even though I wanted to and he wanted me. He would do his best to console him and after a few minutes matthew accepted the bottle.
I also talked about nursing at night before bed, he usually nursed right before bed but instead I would say no no, when he tried. He actually understood too!! He started messing around pretending like he was trying to then stopped!
And don’t worry your period will come back, I wasn’t sure at first either, but literally a week after I completely stopped, it came back