Learning to Find the Good in the Bad

As I get older, I’m learning to find the good in the bad. Here is one of the coping strategies I have learned in therapy for my mental health.

Learning to Find the Good in the Bad

For years whenever I was going through a difficult time, I found it hard to believe I could pull any light out of the darkness. However, the more I take time to process my emotions, the better I become at finding good in the bad. Whenever I am able to emerge from a messy chapter of life with a clearer vision of who I am and who I want to be – I have to celebrate the win.

Over the last few weeks I have struggled with a lot of different emotions. Sadness, anger, melancholy, confusion, and frustration, all jumbled up with moments of happiness. The conflicting feelings made me feel like I was strapped to a seesaw, going up and down with no way to get off. I took some time away from social media while I marinated in everything I was feeling. Then I reached out to my therapist for support and guidance (because it is normal to talk to a therapist!).

Here is where I realize how much therapy has taught me about being a more perspicacious person. I talk to myself about the WHY for each emotion, and try to pinpoint the hidden reasons behind my feelings. Self talk is one of the ways I have been able to navigate my complicated battle with anxiety. If I know I feel sadness because of X and frustration because of Y, then I can start the process of accepting what I’m feeling and ultimately move on.

After it’s all said and done, my therapist says it can be helpful to find the good in the bad. Then the anxiety and depression has a purpose for showing up in my life. So, on Monday when I hopped in the hot shower while Arbor was napping, I took the quiet time to reflect on everything. I am still learning how to do this, but a lot of times my most clear thoughts come when I’m undisturbed in the shower. Here is what I came up with.

7 Good Things to Come Out of a Bad Time

• There is more power in accepting how you feel than denying your emotions. Validation of those emotions is also extremely powerful (having someone tell you they feel the same way OR that your feelings are valid) because it really helps me to move on.
• I need to listen to my body and what it needs when I’m depressed. If the sunny spot on the playroom rug looks warm and inviting, lay in it. If a nap while the baby nap sounds nice, take the nap.
• I am NOT a bad mom just because my kids are going through a tough time too. It isn’t always my fault… and if I am actively seeking ways to support their mental health, then I’m am even better Mom.
• Sometimes the best way to teach your children important life values is to SHOW THEM with an example. For instance, if I am honest with myself, then I can be honest with my children, especially when it comes to admitting you are wrong. So I tell my kids when I am wrong AND offer an apology.
• I align my self worth too closely with this blog. My website doesn’t define me – I am worth so much more.
• The best stuff in life doesn’t always come free – it costs money. Especially when it comes to my website and the only way it will continue to be successful is if I invest in it.
• I HAVE TO TURN OFF SOCIAL MEDIA when I’m feeling down. The answers to my questions and problems in life are rarely going to be on Instagram. Instead, the solution may actually lie somewhere inside of me and my thoughts (while I’m taking a hot shower).