How to Help Older Siblings Cope With a New Baby

How does a new baby affect siblings? There is no way to tell how an older sibling will react to a new baby, but don’t worry. There are many ways to help kids adjust to a new baby!

How to Help Older Siblings Cope With a New Baby

The feelings associated with bringing home a new baby changes as your family grows. Whether it is the first time or the third time, each experience will be different. In the last ten years we have brought a new baby home to siblings of various ages – 2 1/2, 5, and 8. I would like to say it was easier for my older children to adjust to their new sister, but that would be a lie. It’s been a journey each time!

There are many ways to help older siblings cope with the addition of a new baby to the family. In 2017 I wrote this post about preparing your child for a sibling, but my advice has changed since Arbor was born. Here are seven ways to help your child adjust to a new sibling.

Think ahead about introductions. Will your child meet their new brother or sister at the hospital or in your own home? We brought a two year old Annabelle to meet Ailey in the hospital and she was beaming with pride and joy.
Put together a Big Sibling Gift. Despite the excitement around a new baby, big sister or brother may feel left out. Here are 10 Big Sibling Gift Ideas to make your kids feel special!
Talk about the new baby before he or she arrives. Discuss the changes that may happen around the house (baby may sleep in Mommy and Daddy’s room, Mommy may breastfeed the baby, etc). Newborns can’t do a lot except eat, cry, and sleep. I vividly recall Annabelle asking when Ailey would be able to play with her when she was only one week old.
Be prepared for any (or no) initial reaction. While it may seem exciting to have your child come to the hospital to meet the newborn, it can also be misleading and emotional. Younger children can become jealous or cry when it is time to go home without Mommy. OR they are thrilled to climb in bed with Mom and baby. Then you have the younger children who pay no attention to the baby at all. And as for older children – it’s the same unknown reaction! If you avoid setting an expectation then you cannot be disappointed.
Make sure your older child gets lot of individual attention. Regardless of age, your child will need dedicated individual attention. This is a great opportunity for grandparents or family/friends to step in to help while Mom and Dad take care of the new baby.
Avoid comparisons. Children often internalize the observations made by others, especially their parents. If they hear themselves being compared to a sibling, it might affect their self-esteem, making them feel lesser or superior in some way—a feeling that can linger far beyond the moment of comparison.
Never leave older siblings alone with the new baby. Big siblings often like to help with the new baby, but you have to supervise all interactions. Younger children don’t understand the fragility of a newborn, so hugs and kisses can actually be dangerous. Older kids are easily distractible and acccidents can happen!

REMEMBER – nothing lasts forever. If your older child is jealous or disappointed, the feelings will pass. In the beginning, Ailey had a difficult time connecting with Arbor. For a moment, I worried she would never like her baby sister. Then one day Arbor smiled at Ailey and in an instant, they were the best of friends.