There is no way that I believe myself to be an expert at toddler tantrums – but I do feel that my experience with Annabelle has taught me a lot about them. She didn’t start throwing tantrums when the books say she might, so we thought we had escaped the terrible stage. We were wrong. I don’t know how to handle a toddler temper tantrum, but I can tell you what works for us.
Our Toddler’s Temper Tantrums
Annabelle’s temper was evident from a very early age, but real, full blow tantrums truly began towards the end of my pregnancy a year ago. If you think about it, the beginning of the fits were justified. Annabelle was about to go through a huge life experience and even though she is advanced for her age, very aware of what’s going to happen, she still had trouble processing that she would become a big sister and expressing her feelings towards the change. The tantrums have escalated, died down, and then shot back up with intensity at the end of her school year. We had a few bad weeks, but may have it under control right now. We find using a behavior chart with rewards seems to work for our toddler.a
We struggle with temper tantrums once or twice a week. No one really believes us when we say they’re scary, intense, and seemingly impossible to end until they witness it with their own eyes. Sometimes she seems to go to a completely different place and I can’t see her in those big brown eyes anymore. I know that this is only a stage and once she becomes better at controlling her emotions, we will look back on these times and laugh. My parents can tell you I’m living, breathing proof that the evil twin who used to take my place during a tantrum WILL vanish someday.
How We Handle Our Toddler’s Temper Tantrum
Here is what we do when our three year old turns into a toddler tornado:
- Stay calm. Don’t lose your cool.
- Remember – you’re the adult.
- Refrain from escalating a tantrum with punishments.
- Contain the situation.
- Talk it out afterwards.
- Let your child know you love her.
UPDATE: In 2024 we are the proud parents of three incredible daughters – one of which is now a toddler too. We are still navigating the toddler temper tantrum world and learning how to handle toddler temper tantrums. It isn’t easy since every child’s temperament is different!
Lisa says
We still really haven’t hit temper tantrum phase. I keep expecting it, but we still haven’t.
Mary Leigh says
Oh my goodness. Tantrums. We are just really getting into them now and I think your tips are spot on. Hang in there, Mama!
Nikki says
Tantrums are no fun! Good luck getting through this phase! This to shall pass!
Kristen M says
Great tips….I’m sure I’ll need these sooner than later!