I want to share a post about the final weeks of my pregnancy. I know I am not alone in how I felt, nor do I want to forget those feelings. It’s no doubt the third trimester of pregnancy was mentally and emotionally exhausting, but the end result was worth it all.
All the Emotions during Pregnancy
During my entire pregnancy I felt like I was never going to actually meet the little baby growing inside of me. Her birth day seemed as real as the idea of Santa Clause and the whole labor thing – that was merely a nightmare I had when I closed my eyes. I’ve always been a dreamer – someone who lays in bed at night, consciously imagining what a future event will be like, as a way to calm myself before I fall asleep. I can usually conjure up a scenario of anything – an upcoming vacation or a birthday celebration – but for some reason, I could NOT for the life of me, imagine Annabelle’s arrival.
How My Emotions Changed during the Final Weeks of Pregnancy
As my countdown til due day hit 21 days, I started to panic. Every night I laid in bed, trying to picture going into labor, but I only found a blank space in my mind. I knew it had nothing to do with the fact that I’ve never given birth, for I’ve always been able to pretend I’ve done something based on what I’ve seen on tv. This inability to imagine Annabelle’s birth drove me insane.
Not knowing what was going to happen at the end of my pregnancy made me uncomfortable. It made me scared. It made me anxious. And it made me a royal B word. My Mom came down to stay with me for my final days as a pregnant girl to await the arrival of little Miss A. I truly feel bad for how I behaved while she was here. Call me dramatic, but I was the poster child of a pregnant girl losing her mind.
My pregnancy mood swings were out of control: happy one moment and sobbing the next.
I was angry and mean and loving and nice, all at the same time. I would demand to get out of the house, so I wouldn’t be sitting around thinking about when the baby was going to come, and then once we got out somewhere, I would complain I wanted to go home. I didn’t know how to handle myself, but thankfully my mother and husband were there to bring me back to Earth.
I was manic – cleaning my house frantically for hours straight, and then crashing on the couch. People told me to enjoy these final moments, before a baby was demanding all of my attention, but I couldn’t. I wanted a baby to demand my attention! My back hurt, my pelvis felt like it was splitting in two, and I was tired of peeing every 2 minutes.
Connecting with other pregnant women during the final weeks of pregnancy is so helpful.
I talked to a few bloggers who’d been through this before – the annoying final days before your last doctors appointment (or your due day) where you just wanted to feel the pains of labor so you knew the end was near. Some girls said it was normal to be anxious – to just want to snap your fingers and have everything be over. Other girls said they were afraid they’d miss being pregnant.
NOT ME. I was ready for the next step – the step that would take me from Pregnant to Mom. The step that would give me a real purpose in life. I just didn’t know when it would happen…
I remember going out to dinner the night before my due date with my inlaws, husband, and Mom. I sat there at the table thinking, “Maybe this Mexican food will make me go into labor. Maybe tonight my water will break and I won’t have to go to the doctors in the morning.” We got home that night and B hugged my belly. He said, “This might be the last time I can hug this big belly!” I laughed at him and then got upset and said I was going to bed. How could he joke?! The baby was never going to come!! (says the overly dramatic 40 week pregnant girl).
He was right. I had to be induced the next day.
My labor was nothing like anything I had seen on television. My delivery was just the same. It was unique and special and something I can’t wait to experience again. You can read Annabelle’s birth story Part I and Part II. It is funny to me that I wanted to be able to picture the moment in my mind but I couldn’t. It’s also funny that I became so crazy during the final weeks of my pregnancy.
When I look back, do I think I should have tried to relax?
No, I don’t I should have changed a thing. I think I did everything that I was supposed to do and freaking out was my way of letting go of some emotions I may have held in during my pregnancy. In the end, nothing mattered. Annabelle was here and that was that.
What were your final weeks of pregnancy like?