I want to share a post about the final weeks of my pregnancy. I know I am not alone in how I felt, nor do I want to forget those feelings. It’s no doubt the third trimester of pregnancy was mentally and emotionally exhausting, but the end result was worth it all.
All the Emotions during Pregnancy
During my entire pregnancy I felt like I was never going to actually meet the little baby growing inside of me. Her birth day seemed as real as the idea of Santa Clause and the whole labor thing – that was merely a nightmare I had when I closed my eyes. I’ve always been a dreamer – someone who lays in bed at night, consciously imagining what a future event will be like, as a way to calm myself before I fall asleep. I can usually conjure up a scenario of anything – an upcoming vacation or a birthday celebration – but for some reason, I could NOT for the life of me, imagine Annabelle’s arrival.
How My Emotions Changed during the Final Weeks of Pregnancy
As my countdown til due day hit 21 days, I started to panic. Every night I laid in bed, trying to picture going into labor, but I only found a blank space in my mind. I knew it had nothing to do with the fact that I’ve never given birth, for I’ve always been able to pretend I’ve done something based on what I’ve seen on tv. This inability to imagine Annabelle’s birth drove me insane.
Not knowing what was going to happen at the end of my pregnancy made me uncomfortable. It made me scared. It made me anxious. And it made me a royal B word. My Mom came down to stay with me for my final days as a pregnant girl to await the arrival of little Miss A. I truly feel bad for how I behaved while she was here. Call me dramatic, but I was the poster child of a pregnant girl losing her mind.
My pregnancy mood swings were out of control: happy one moment and sobbing the next.
I was angry and mean and loving and nice, all at the same time. I would demand to get out of the house, so I wouldn’t be sitting around thinking about when the baby was going to come, and then once we got out somewhere, I would complain I wanted to go home. I didn’t know how to handle myself, but thankfully my mother and husband were there to bring me back to Earth.
I was manic – cleaning my house frantically for hours straight, and then crashing on the couch. People told me to enjoy these final moments, before a baby was demanding all of my attention, but I couldn’t. I wanted a baby to demand my attention! My back hurt, my pelvis felt like it was splitting in two, and I was tired of peeing every 2 minutes.
Connecting with other pregnant women during the final weeks of pregnancy is so helpful.
I talked to a few bloggers who’d been through this before – the annoying final days before your last doctors appointment (or your due day) where you just wanted to feel the pains of labor so you knew the end was near. Some girls said it was normal to be anxious – to just want to snap your fingers and have everything be over. Other girls said they were afraid they’d miss being pregnant.
NOT ME. I was ready for the next step – the step that would take me from Pregnant to Mom. The step that would give me a real purpose in life. I just didn’t know when it would happen…
I remember going out to dinner the night before my due date with my inlaws, husband, and Mom. I sat there at the table thinking, “Maybe this Mexican food will make me go into labor. Maybe tonight my water will break and I won’t have to go to the doctors in the morning.” We got home that night and B hugged my belly. He said, “This might be the last time I can hug this big belly!” I laughed at him and then got upset and said I was going to bed. How could he joke?! The baby was never going to come!! (says the overly dramatic 40 week pregnant girl).
He was right. I had to be induced the next day.
My labor was nothing like anything I had seen on television. My delivery was just the same. It was unique and special and something I can’t wait to experience again. You can read Annabelle’s birth story Part I and Part II. It is funny to me that I wanted to be able to picture the moment in my mind but I couldn’t. It’s also funny that I became so crazy during the final weeks of my pregnancy.
When I look back, do I think I should have tried to relax?
No, I don’t I should have changed a thing. I think I did everything that I was supposed to do and freaking out was my way of letting go of some emotions I may have held in during my pregnancy. In the end, nothing mattered. Annabelle was here and that was that.
What were your final weeks of pregnancy like?
Samantha says
So sweet <3 I was uncomfortable and ready… no other way I can describe it haha but since I'll never be doing it again, it makes me a little sad to realize that.
Lisa says
I think I was honestly a bit in denial about the whole thing. Like you, I couldn’t picture what it was going to be like at all, or when it would happen. For me I developed problems at the end — I was borderline for gestational diabetes and pre-eclampsia, and both seemed to be getting worse. I was at the doctor’s office so much I was basically like, let’s just get this over with!! My water broke at 38 1/2 weeks, and they ended up having to induce labor. I don’t think I really freaked out until I was in the hospital and they were admitting me!
lindsay says
yes…mine was slightly unique, but that time is also something i will never forget. At 32 weeks, I had just gotten home from a trip to Dallas, miserable and terrible pregger, which i thought was normal. I had my doctors apt and I was at the point where it was taking everything in me to get up and go to work and then leave to go to my Drs. apt. I was having a hard time fathoming 2 more months of this. At the docs that day, we were stunned to find out that i was preeclamptic and was sent straight to the doctor. Upon arriving at the hospital, i soon found out that I would be having a baby within the week. I had not had a baby shower yet, we had not set up any kind of nursery, and to top it all off we were closing on a house in 3 days and moving in 3 weeks. **and they were telling me to try my hardest to stay calm to keep my blood pressure down…yeah**
When she arrived via C-section, it was such a surreal feeling. All the world was swirling around me, and i couldn’t be more content & at peace. She stayed in the hospital for 20 days which gave us some time to prepare some more, but 3 days after she arrived home, we moved into our new home and now looking back, timing was perfect. Insane, but perfect.
Now, I’m 28 weeks, freaking out hoping this pregnancy is going well, AND since I’ve never been through labor, having that similar blank yet anxious feeling about the final weeks as well. I can relate to all those feelings you posted! My only struggle is that I am a crab taking care of an almost 2 yr old and husband. I owe the hubby lots of chocolate pies after this baby 🙂
Nikki says
When would you say the anxiety really kicked in? I am at 4 weeks out and I am still shockingly calm. People are surprised I am so relaxed with how I feel about her impending arrival.
Erin says
Girl I so remember us having chats about this. The end of pregnancy is so stressful and exciting all at the same time!!
Carrie says
Both my sisters went over their due dates and had to be induced. So, from the day I got pregnant, I prepared for that. Perhaps it was a self-fulfilling prophecy. At my last doctor’s appointment, two days before my scheduled induction, I had her strip my membranes. It worked for the most part and 24 hours I was in labor. But they still had to break my water and give me a whiff of Pitocin, so I was practically induced.
I think I was just done being pregnant and wanted to get the show on the road. But when my doctor came in to break my water, I cried and admitted to her how terrified I was because I had never done this before! She assured me it was going to be okay and a wonderful experience, and thankfully, she was right.
Anna says
Thank you for sharing this! My little boy is due next week and I feel like a crazy person! It’s such a weird time and I’m going through a giant mix of emotions. I feel like I should just be excited to meet my son and nothing else, and I feel guilty for being so nervous and anxious. I’m scared to death of labor, and I hate just waiting, not knowing when it will happen or what my experience will be like. More than anything, I’m worried about the little guy getting here safe and healthy. And I’m also nervous about the huge life change having a baby will bring. Being a mom is the most important job I will ever have, and I keep second-guessing myself, worried that I will somehow mess it up. Similar to how you were unable to imagine Annabelle’s birth, I have a hard time imagining what it will be like/feel like to be a mom. I know that it will be okay and everything will fall into place, but i keep panicking that I’m not ready. Of course I’m excited and eager for it to happen, but I didn’t think I would be this nervous and going crazy at the end.
Kirstie says
My husband and I tried to get me to go into labor a week early, but if something didn’t work we just shrugged it off. I was always hoping today was the day! But it never happened. I did get frustrated but then I had to remind myself it was out of my hands. I deep cleaned and make freezer meals the day before I went into labor, but I think I became more afraid of how my husband and I would be after we added a little one into our family. I was scared about not being able to make enough time for me and him. But it all worked out and I went into labor naturally. I can tell you in the last weeks of my pregnant I was bugged by a terrible nurse with horrible bedside manner who basically told me I was fat and that I would be pregnant for 41 weeks not 40. Why she said it I have no clue! But I certainly wanted to punch her in the face.
Joelle says
I also could not imagine what labor and even my little girl was going to be like. I just couldn’t believe that a little baby was inside me until she arrived. Even looking back, I can’t believe that I carried my now 6 mth old little girl in my belly. BTW: I LOVE that last photo of you two. So precious.
Cait says
my final weeks were horrible. although i didn’t have any contractions that i could feel, i was starting to get preeclampsia and my body began shutting down. thankfully, lily was ok throughout the entire thing but going to and from the hospital 4 times in a week was rough. everyone has a story though right 🙂 were happy shes here and shes happy and healthy 🙂
Lindsay says
I loved reading this post because my husband and I just decided to start trying to have a baby and although it is very exciting i am also absolutely terrified at the idea of giving birth… like seriously petrified. It’s nice to hear that perhaps its not something i have to be so scared of 🙂