“So, how are you feeling?” is such a loaded question to ask a pregnant girl. I always want to reply, “Do you really care how I feel or are you just being polite?”
As a first timer entering her 32nd week of pregnancy, I am asked those five words at least three times a day. Once always comes from my Mom. I usually answer, “I feel great!” or “Pretty good, getting a little tired.” The truth is – I never tell (unless it is my mom) how I truly feel because I am always afraid that they really don’t care. No one wants to hear someone complain – and us pregnant girls usually have a lot to complain about. A real lot.
If you asked me right now how I am feeling, and I wanted to be brutally honest, this is what I’d tell ya…
My vulvar varicose vein is bulging and hurts.
Annabelle keeps kicking me in the ribs, so I can’t get comfortable.
I feel like I pee every 5 minutes and I am sick of peeing.
Something smells bad.
My lower back is achy.
My left heel stings when I put too much weight on it.
I can’t breathe when I am sitting, laying down, or standing.
I hate clothes. I want to sit around naked, but my boobs hang over my belly, making it even harder for me to breath. Oh, and I don’t like the idea of my bare bottom on furniture.
My mouth is constantly dry and I’ve already eaten 5 large cups of ice today. Nothing helps.
I am tired.
My thighs are rubbing together when I walk and I am afraid I am going to start a fire.
I am feeling a little frustrated and annoyed over absolutely nothing.
I also feel anxious – for no reason at all – and a little like I could cry at the drop of a dime.
Do you notice that everything I’ve said is negative? Do you notice how I sound like a miserable pregnant woman? Should I care how I sound?? Pregnant girls get away with sounding crazy, right?
I do care how I sound. I care because I don’t want Annabelle to hear me complaining. I care because I don’t want people to look at me and think, “Wow I feel bad for her husband.”
I care because all of that negative crap is just a rant.
I am NOT wretchedly unhappy.
I am extremely happy.
I am so happy that sometimes I feel like my heart could explode with joy.
I wanted to be pregnant and here I am… 8 weeks away from my due date. And I have to admit something that I never thought I would feel – something I never understood how a pregnant woman could feel after all of craziness happening to our bodies…
I kind of love being pregnant.
I love feeling Annabelle move inside of me. I love how my baby bump looks from the front. I love how it looks from the side. I love to rest my hands on my belly. I love the way that strangers smile when they see that I am pregnant. I love how B talks to his daughter at night. I love how she seems to kick back when she hears his voice.
I love knowing that I am growing a tiny human inside of me.
I love that I am carrying an itty bitty gift of life.
I love that I am carrying an itty bitty gift of life.
So next time I am asked that question – maybe I will tell the truth. Maybe I will say, “Physically I feel like crap. But emotionally and mentally – I feel blessed, overjoyed, lucky, and amazing.”
awww I love this – thanks for being honest about something a non-pregnant person can’t understand. But now, I think I do a little bit more 🙂
Thank you Corinne! I am glad that my message got across to someone 🙂
I LOVE this, girl! I am 38 weeks pregnant, and all of a sudden, every step hurts so much!! I totally relate to everything you said. I really get annoyed when people ask how I’m feeling. When I was teaching, every single person asked it, every single day. It got old fast. And, like you, I had tons of complaints, but just smiled and said, I feel good! It made my aches hurt even more. haha. But I also love being pregnant. At least up until this last week:) What a blessing we have been given.
I feel you on every single bit of this!!!! I hate to complain but some days I feel down right terrible!!!! Usually I keep it bottled up all day and then my feelings seem to explode when I talk to my mom or husband. It can be really hard even when I love every minute of being pregnant and I try my hardest to smile through it all. As I was writing my bumpdate for this week I noticed it took a negative turn and I hated to sound like I was complaining but it’s the truth. If people don’t like me for telling the truth I’m sorry but I wouldn’t be true to who I really was. Feel good. We are so close to being done and there is an amazing light at the end of the tunnel!!!!! We can do this!!!!
I couldn’t imagine if I was still teaching… I know that all of the older teachers would be following me around, asking me how I was feeling, and I could see myself getting nasty and annoyed haha. Can’t believe you’re already at 38 weeks! It’s almost over and then you’ll have the best gift ever!
Yes we can do this!!! I feel that sometimes we need to be honest with ourselves and our readers, because I didn’t know there were so many negative symptoms that accompany pregnancy!
I completely agree! I’m only 23 weeks but man.. Sometimes it is just rough! I hate complaining because I feel so lucky and so blessed! But after reading this I see that it is okay to feel crappy yet extremely happy at the same time :)!
And that is exactly why I wrote this… I wanted other pregnant girls to be able to relate … and to know that it is okay to complain too 🙂 Because we really are all happy and grateful underneath the miserable whining =0)
I’m only 15 weeks and get asked this 5 times a day and currently I feel great, so I’ve started asking people to save it for when I’m really pregnant 😉 I’m glad your wrote this though, so I won’t think I’m crazy 18-20 weeks from now when I feel the same way!
“Something smells bad” That is a training tool for the future. Complain away, girl! Anyone that is or has been pregnant totally understands…plus, no one likes the chick that has always feels great pregnant!
Normal feelings girlfriend! I always say ” ready to be done” haha but it’s just because I am SO uncomfortable! People know what you mean though, EYE ON THE PRIZE! So excited for you!!
Aww can totally relate! I think I had most of those symptoms while prego plus I had gestational diabetes the last three months so I couldn’t eat carbs or sugar! Haha it’s like you forget all about it once she’s here and then all people ask is how she is 🙂
Girlfriend, you are creating a human being in your stomach…you are more than WELCOME to have a few complaints. I applaud you for seeing the positive, though!
I feel the exact same way. And we have the same due date! I kind of wish people would stop asking me how I feel! But other moments I really love being pregnant. It’s a weird mix.
Seriously, it’s nice to read some honesty about taxing it is on your body. I’m always so happy for people who are emotionally ecstatic but you KNOW at all times post-30 weeks, you basically are just miserable. I dont even HAVE kids and I know that! I love the way you sum it up! 🙂
When people ask me that and I actually feel good, I just want to shout it from the rooftops. I know it won’t last forever, so I’m trying to enjoy it while I can. Today, I feel like I got run over by a truck, which I’m pretty sure Baby Mac knows too because he’s not tap dancing on my bladder as much as usual.
Gah, I hate this question too!! While 99% of the time I have a positive answer we have our days!!! It’s okay to be honest!! You don’t sound negative – those of us going through it or have already been through it totally get it!!
I swear no one told me how much my body would go through during this pregnancy! It is insane!!!
Due date twins!
Thank you Janna!! It is definitely a tough job to cook this little one haha.
Oh wow I can’t even imagine what it would’ve been like if I had gestational diabetes seeing as though I have enough stomach problems to begin with!
Yes EYE ON THE PRIZE!!! Thank you – and excited for you too!
I hate that question. No one really wants to know the answer unless it is all rainbows and butterflies. So I just say I feel fine. Except my husband has me figured out and goes, “No, really, how are you feeling?”. Haha. He knows me all too well!
I love your answer, that is great!
xx
Kelly
Sparkles and Shoes