One Of My Biggest Flaws

One of My Biggest Flaws: Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times… I never learn my lesson.

I’ve always been a believer that people act with their best intentions. This belief has become one of my biggest flaws – and is the reason I end up hurt again and again. My low self-esteem growing up caused me to try to be everyone’s friend, which as a result also gets me hurt.

But certain events made me begin to think there was something about me that wasn’t like-able – never thinking that it could be that people were mean or selfish. As I grew older and moved away, I was able to start over many times in different places. My confidence grew. But no matter how tall I try to stand up against this emotion from creeping back into my in my life, it still happens.

I guess its the law of averages – nothing can ever be perfect.

The Opposite of my Biggest Flaw

One of my best friends says she admires my strength and how I stand up for myself and my family. This is true to an extent, as I’ve become quite the Mama Bear with age. If you met me on the street I come across as a friendly, sweet,  non-confrontational person.

You’d never know by appearance I would stand head to head against someone who hurts my friends or family. I do not do the same for myself though. I am not a fighter for me – only for those I love and care about.

Being outgoing, approachable, and easygoing is a double edge sword as it also makes me vulnerable. People see me as easy to take advantage of, knowing I will readily do all I can to help, assist, etc. I love people and always trust they are good at heart.

I genuinely care about my friends, new and old, but sometimes I care too much. Sadly, when you care as much as I do, you get hurt more easily than others when the care isn’t reciprocated. Caring doesn’t necessarily make me weak, but rather loyal.

I hope that I can teach my daughter how to be strong and impervious to the type of vulnerability that will get her hurt (if that’s even possible). She should not be scared to waste her love and emotions on people who will take advantage of her. She just needs to have a backbone – something I think I may lack at times.

I’ll tell my daughter to expect nothing and appreciate everything, for expectation is the root of all heartache (Shakespeare). Most importantly, in life we all should learn to forgive, but never forget. For the best way to learn is from our mistakes.