Have you ever had one of those days – where every little thing seems to go wrong – and no matter how hard you try to keep your cool – you end up in tears on the bathroom floor anyways, feeling defeated, deflated, and distraught?
You sit there and wonder, “Am I the only one…?”
Am I the only Mom who feels like they suck at being a Mom?
Something I have learned in the last 7 months of being a Mom is that I am NOT alone. I am not the only Mom with a baby who won’t sleep through the night. I am not the only Mom with a baby who punches, slaps, and scratches her when she is having a tantrum for no apparent reason. I am not the only Mom who lets her baby sleep in her bed. I am not the only Mom who puts her baby down when she is screaming, walks into the bathroom, turns on the fan, and screams into a towel.
Most importantly… I am not the only Mom who thinks she sucks at being a Mom.
No one ever told me when I was pregnant that I was going to need to find some friends going through the same thing once I had the baby. Everyone offered advice on which swaddle blankets to buy, which pacifiers worked best, and which swing their little one couldn’t live without. BUT NO ONE said I would need other Moms to help me get through the months following Annabelle’s birth.
Fortunately, my cousin and three close friends were pregnant at the same time as me. I always had someone to text/call when something with my pregnancy was baffling. However, I delivered first. That meant in the beginning – I found myself answering their questions and looking to veteran Moms for advice. Don’t get me wrong – the veteran Moms in my life are amazing – it’s just they weren’t going through the same thing as me at the same time. I need Moms who had just given birth.
Then one day I received a text message from a girl whose Aunt works with my MIL. She told me about a Mommy and Me group that met at the hospital where I delivered. I knew about the group, but was always too afraid to go alone. We set a date to go together, and I am forever grateful that I went. THE WOMEN AT THIS GROUP ARE INCREDIBLE. They have been there for me through the toughest of times with advice, a helping hand, or a shoulder to lean on. They have a private Facebook group, so even if I was up at 2am with a problem, someone would be able to help me by morning. This group – these women – will probably never know how much they helped me these past 7 months.
Two girls in particular have been here for me since we started group together. Annabelle is only one month older than their two sweeties, but it hasn’t made a difference. We have been through the ups and downs of new mommyhood together. I am so thankful to have had them in my life and cherish our friendships. Through my new transition into working Mom, they have both been by my side, as they are making/have made the transition too.
I truly believe that it is important to have girl friends – both new and old – to help you get through new stages of life. Whether your friends are real (where you see them in person) or met through social media, they’ll always be there with advice, a listening ear, or a shoulder to cry on. My Mommy friends have taught me that I am NOT alone. They taught me that I don’t suck at being a Mom as long as I love and protect my daughter. They’ve taught me that it’s okay to not know what I am doing – it’s okay to ask questions – and it’s okay to end up in tears on the bathroom floor. That is… as long as you pick yourself back up again and keep moving. Our babies need us.