Supposedly… I have kind of sort of always been a control freak since birth. My mom tells me that when I was little she would hear me yelling, “TAKE A RIGHT” from the backseat of the car. If she dared to take a left, the girl with the curl would go nuts and use her Houdini powers to escape from her car seat. Sometimes a cop would be around, see this happening, and then my poor Momma would get pulled over. So much for that thousand dollar car seat…
My mom says she used to tell people, “She’s obstinate, but precious.” Yay… reeaaaal precious.
I was known to be quite the “tantrum thrower” until I went to Kindergarten when I was four. I needed to know what was going to happen at all times and everything needed to be in order.
If plans changed without me knowing, look out.
If we left a place before we were supposed to – all hell would break loose. My mom says I bit the dashboard in her car once after we had to leave my Aunt’s house early… and those teeth marks did not disappear. My cousins also tell of me kicking the crap out of the wall in their living room once.
I have foggy memories of myself throwing Legos at my bedroom door because my Mom had put me in my room to cool down. This could’ve happened after I was told to come inside after it got dark. That sun should probably have just stayed out a little longer so I could finish playing… but NOPE, Mr. Sun does what it wants. I didn’t know how to control all the frustration boiling inside my body, so I pulled at my pretty little curls and threw Legos. I am sure it was all very cute.
I like things to be a certain way – if I go home to visit my parents and my room isn’t cleaned the way I like it, then I clean it myself. I prefer to cook a big meal at home for guests then take them out to eat – because if I am going to spend monies on food, I like to have control over how it is going to taste.
I am not OCD – my bedroom floor is usually a mess and the laundry is never done.
I am just controlling.
I think wanting to have control over everything in my life is one of my worst traits. No longer do I throw Legos, but I now have anxiety and panic attacks. It stems from my inability to LET GO in situations that are otherwise out of my control. I don’t think I will ever be able to understand how to let things work themselves out.
Control. I need it in my life. I don’t know how to function without it. Oh boy, what am I going to do when Baby Girl doesn’t arrive on her due date…
What are some of your worst traits? Do any of you have control issues?