We always knew that when our family of two became a family of three, our alone time would never be the same.
Gone would be our Sunday Fundays watching football at a bar or an impromptu date night into the city … lazy days in bed or sporadic weekend trips to the beach. Alone time would have to be planned and probably involve a babysitter. We had heard from couples how they hadn’t been on dates in years, or how their 3 year old had taken up residence in their bed. Did this deter us from wanting to have a baby? Absolutely not. It would be selfish to not have a baby because it would take away from ‘our time together.’ We knew things would be different, so we planned to go to Norway before we got pregnant as a farewell to irresponsibility and spontaneity. Then as luck would have it, two weeks after we returned home, we found out we were having a baby!
Now that Annabelle is almost three months old, we are trying to find time for us again.
One of our favorite things to do as a married couple has always been to have a date night at home. We enjoyed making a production out of planning our meal in – shall we have homemade pizzas? A big seafood pasta dish? Something on the grill? We’d make our grocery list on the morning of our date and I was always the one to run off to the store. I would stop at the package store to get wine that paired well with our dinner. That night we’d put on our pjs and listen to a little Frank Sinatra or Van Morrison on Pandora. We would always turn the music up a little too loud. I would take my time cooking… and we would enjoy each other’s company while standing in the kitchen trying to make each other laugh. Once dinner was ready, we would sit in the dining room and usually talk about Muffin or a trip we were planning. We would always drink too much wine, laugh a little too loud, and leave the mess for the next morning. Those nights have always been my favorite…
We have started attempting to recreate those date nights at home again, but things have changed quite a bit. We still make our grocery list together, but B is usually the one to go to the store while I stay home with the baby. We still listen to Pandora, but the music isn’t as loud. There is wine… but we never finish a bottle. We still laugh, and we still talk about Muffin, but our conversations mostly revolve around the light of our life, little Miss A, who is usually sitting on my lap at the table. And instead of leaving the mess for the morning, our kitchen it always spotless before bed.
Two weekends ago, B had to take over the cooking of our dinner after A had an I need my Mommy meltdown. I stood next to him while Annabelle screamed and told him how to make our pizza. Then he ate alone at the table while I ate on the couch over a sleeping baby on my chest. We could have said that our night was ruined – but we didn’t. Instead, we discovered that B can cook and Annabelle does NOT like to be left alone on the floor for too long.
Last weekend we tried to have another date night at home. B cooked… by choice… and I wore Annabelle in the Bjorn. We actually sat at the kitchen table together and toasted glasses of wine to our new life with Annabelle. Then she had another meltdown and Mommy and Baby ended up in the warm shower together, but that’s besides the point. The point is that we are finding ways to make it work. Slowly, but surely, we will develop a new sort of date night at home.
Tonight we are going on our first real date – one that involves leaving the house, our in-laws babysitting, a dinner reservation, and no curfew. Wish us luck!
Mommies and Daddies – how do you do date nights?
Sara says
Good for you guys starting so early on! Our little girl is 7 months old and haven’t had a date night out yet but your date night in ideas are great as well! We are still trying to navigate the new balance with our little girl! Thanks for sharing your ideas!
Caitlin says
If we didn’t have our parents then we wouldn’t be able to go anywhere because I don’t trust anyone to babysit haha! There are lots of fun things to do at home… maybe I should do a post about that!
Erin says
Ah – the new normal we are getting use to!! This sounds exactly like our house!! We had our first date night for our anniversary last month and we couldn’t wait to get home!
Caitlin says
I couldn’t stop thinking about Annabelle the whole time out! We had fun… but we talked a lot about her!
Brittany says
Great read! I love your optimism! I’m hoping I will be able to share some of that when baby Riley arrives!
Caitlin says
You totally will. I should have you guest post!
Jess Beer says
Good luck! It’s so hard to leave them at first but I’m realizing more and more that you do need the time together. Have fun!
Caitlin says
It was so hard to leave her because she cried a lot when my inlaws got there. Then she passed out… and the whole time I was gone I worried she was screaming and crying and not sleeping!
Bethany says
Sounds like a fun night for tonight, have fun! Adam and I have had many of those date nights too. Adam keeps buying bottles of wine, but I end up only taking a sip because I get caught up in taking care of the girls. And before I know it I’m asleep…
Caitlin says
I’ve been there before!
Cait says
Tonight were going on our first real date night out of the house too! one that also involves no curfew and a glass or two of wine at dinner! YAY! Have a great time dear!
Caitlin says
Hope you had a great time!
Sarah says
Love this! We have definitely had to change our normal but it’s SO much better now! We did a family date to Chipotle tonight and when it kind of flopped bc it was so busy, neither of us cared. The baby was asleep in the backseat and we had some extra alone time to talk and laugh while we drove and came home to eat in our pajamas instead. Still perfect.
Caitlin says
That sounds like a perfect night to me!
Angela says
There has to be a small part of all this that is fun figuring things out…. a new twist on date night, but a new little blessing to enjoy it with. 🙂
Caitlin says
You are absolutely right Angela!
Gia says
So happy the blog is up and running!
Lisa says
Date nights are a must! For real. We are doing about one per month, thanks to my parents, who love to take Little One for us. Our first one was when she was less than a month old. We went out to dinner and walked around town for a bit and it was wonderful. We love our little girl but time away from her keeps us a little saner. Baby comes first, but we want our marriage to stay strong too! Glad you got your night in, but don’t forget nights out, too! Take care of yourself.
Camille says
You are the cutest mommy ever! Motherhood really suits you.
I’m happy to hear you guys have been able to take some time to yourselves. Annabelle is just so sweet. 🙂
Caitlin says
You are too sweet! Thank you!