We always knew that when our family of two became a family of three, our alone time would never be the same.
Gone would be our Sunday Fundays watching football at a bar or an impromptu date night into the city … lazy days in bed or sporadic weekend trips to the beach. Alone time would have to be planned and probably involve a babysitter. We had heard from couples how they hadn’t been on dates in years, or how their 3 year old had taken up residence in their bed. Did this deter us from wanting to have a baby? Absolutely not. It would be selfish to not have a baby because it would take away from ‘our time together.’ We knew things would be different, so we planned to go to Norway before we got pregnant as a farewell to irresponsibility and spontaneity. Then as luck would have it, two weeks after we returned home, we found out we were having a baby!
Now that Annabelle is almost three months old, we are trying to find time for us again.
One of our favorite things to do as a married couple has always been to have a date night at home. We enjoyed making a production out of planning our meal in – shall we have homemade pizzas? A big seafood pasta dish? Something on the grill? We’d make our grocery list on the morning of our date and I was always the one to run off to the store. I would stop at the package store to get wine that paired well with our dinner. That night we’d put on our pjs and listen to a little Frank Sinatra or Van Morrison on Pandora. We would always turn the music up a little too loud. I would take my time cooking… and we would enjoy each other’s company while standing in the kitchen trying to make each other laugh. Once dinner was ready, we would sit in the dining room and usually talk about Muffin or a trip we were planning. We would always drink too much wine, laugh a little too loud, and leave the mess for the next morning. Those nights have always been my favorite…
We have started attempting to recreate those date nights at home again, but things have changed quite a bit. We still make our grocery list together, but B is usually the one to go to the store while I stay home with the baby. We still listen to Pandora, but the music isn’t as loud. There is wine… but we never finish a bottle. We still laugh, and we still talk about Muffin, but our conversations mostly revolve around the light of our life, little Miss A, who is usually sitting on my lap at the table. And instead of leaving the mess for the morning, our kitchen it always spotless before bed.
Two weekends ago, B had to take over the cooking of our dinner after A had an I need my Mommy meltdown. I stood next to him while Annabelle screamed and told him how to make our pizza. Then he ate alone at the table while I ate on the couch over a sleeping baby on my chest. We could have said that our night was ruined – but we didn’t. Instead, we discovered that B can cook and Annabelle does NOT like to be left alone on the floor for too long.
Last weekend we tried to have another date night at home. B cooked… by choice… and I wore Annabelle in the Bjorn. We actually sat at the kitchen table together and toasted glasses of wine to our new life with Annabelle. Then she had another meltdown and Mommy and Baby ended up in the warm shower together, but that’s besides the point. The point is that we are finding ways to make it work. Slowly, but surely, we will develop a new sort of date night at home.
Tonight we are going on our first real date – one that involves leaving the house, our in-laws babysitting, a dinner reservation, and no curfew. Wish us luck!
Mommies and Daddies – how do you do date nights?