Wedding planning can be both stressful and enjoyable for the parties getting married. What no one tells you is what happens after the wedding. Read a real life account of a bride’s experience with what happens after the wedding.
When my sister Caitlin told me she was looking for someone to guest post, I thought of all the people I could volunteer for the job. I knew she wanted the post to be relatable. That means the post would cover topics such as parenting, marriage, being a working mother, etc., – a bunch of topics I couldn’t really talk about. But after a bit of thought, it occurred to me I may have something to say that her readers could relate to.
This is Lizzie by the way (in case you haven’t already figured it out). I’m Caitlin’s younger sister. I recently got engaged…well maybe not so recently as we are quickly approaching our one year engagiversary…on December 6, 2014 to my college sweetheart. Ryan and I have been together for over six years and we will officially be husband and wife in May 2016. As the “big day” approaches, I slowly start to lose my calm, cool and collected attitude and switch to the panicked bride-to-be all my married girlfriends warned me about. The funny thing is, the planning is not what’s stressful (at least not in this stage), but it’s the idea of what happens AFTER the wedding that really makes me think.
Now I realize that may sound completely awful to some – the idea of what happens AFTER the wedding that really makes me think- but I really don’t mean it the way it sounds. I know that Ryan is the one for me, and I have known that for almost our entire relationship. I know it’s cliché, but while he really does love me at my best… he may love me even more at my worst.
Someone close to Ryan and I recently gave us some advice that took me by surprise: “Once you are married, a fight isn’t just a fight.” You can’t just grab your things and go because you can’t stand to be around the person in that moment anymore. You have to stick around and deal with it. Well that’s a thought – our fights will change?? He also said you may see a side to your spouse you have never seen before after the wedding. At first, I didn’t understand this, because I am pretty sure after six years, two of which we have lived together, I have seen it all. But then I thought long and hard. There are expectations that you have for one another before you are married, and as much as you may try to express all of those before a commitment is made, I am sure there will be a few that go unsaid. These expectations will eventually come out, maybe in the wrong way, and you will need to work through the tough time. Communication will be your saving grace.
I think so many of us fall into society’s expectation of getting married and we lose sight of what is really important in life. Marriage becomes “the next step” in a relationship, rather than the right step. I am lucky enough to be surrounded by family and friends who are in loving and happy relationships who have taught Ryan and I that life isn’t easy. You may have to work really hard, and they’ll be bumps in the road, but if you have the one you love by your side, it’ll make the ride worth it. It’s going to be scary after the wedding…all the unknowns… but isn’t that unknown exciting at the same time?
You can read all about Lizzie and Ryan’s engagement here.