It was bound to happen.
I knew I was going to hit a bump in the road on my way to “Happiness.”
I just didn’t know how or when or why.
I know why I have have hit this bump – and I blame myself. I am trying too hard. As part of my Happiness Project, I am trying to please others around me. That means I do things that I don’t normally like doing to make my loved ones happy (i.e. going out on a Sunday when all I want to do is stay in). Last weekend I did such a thing. I didn’t feel like going anywhere – I have this thing where I don’t like drinking 3 nights in a row because I get super hungover on the fourth morning. I feel super bloated, sad, tired, cranky, and sometimes even depressed. Think about yourself – if you had a few drinks on a Thurs, Fri, and Saturday night – how do you feel Sunday morning? I know I usually feel like hiding in my bed.
Anyways, I did this last weekend. I enjoyed some adult beverages on Fri, Sat, and Sun. And on Monday, when I had the day off, I didn’t do anything that I had planned. And I was really upset with myself. But keeping with my happiness project theme – I told myself, “It takes time. And there is no use crying over spilled milk. Just chalk this up as a loss and keep moving.”
Now, it’s Monday again, and I am mad at myself. Only this time things are a bit different.Yesterday I went to a friend’s house to watch Football. In all honesty, I only went for my husband and my friend. I would’ve much rather had stayed home. My stomach hurt, I had a ton of stuff that needed to be done around the house and for school. HOWEVER, I knew that if I stayed home I wouldn’t have done a darn thing. So I went to make everyone happy. And I had fun. And I had some wine – because my stomach hurt and red wine always helps my sick tummy. But then I ate some snacks that weren’t agreeable with my IBS/Lactose Intolerant Diet because they looked tasty. And then I came home and layed on the couch and watched Lifetime movies and did nothing that needed to be done. Bad move Mrs. Bear.
So here lies my problem: How do I continue on a road to happiness with this giant bump in my way?