Why do nice people get taken advantage of? Despite the universal teaching of the old adage “Treat others the way in which you wish to be treated,” some humans do the opposite. Whether it’s an act of disrespect, manipulation or exploitation, the WHY is something I grapple with most.
In my adult life I have found myself taken advantage of more times than I want to admit. Whether it is in the workforce or my personal life, I unknowingly allow others to use my kindness and friendship for their own betterment. I never know it’s happening and only realize what’s occurred once the damage is done. Why do nice people get used?
Why Do Nice People Get Taken Advantage Of?
When I reflect back on moments that have hurt my heart most, I notice it always starts with a misinterpreted friendship. My therapist says I allow people to get close too quickly. Once I believe a person is in my life for something more – I let my guard down. How am I to know I am nothing but a step ladder to success or a pathway to something better? Whatever purpose I serve is not one of a friend – but more of a tool to better their own life. Misinterpreted friendships happy frequently in the world of online friendships.
Some people will only “love you” as much as they can use you. Their loyalty ends where the benefits stop.
Why do people take advantage of others?
When googling, “Why do nice people get taken advantage of?” I found multiple reasons. Nice people get taken advantage of when the other party does not have respect or appreciation for the one they manipulate. Kindness is misinterpreted as weakness. And when you have a kind heart, people can play at your heart strings to get what they want.
Isn’t it human nature to see the best in others? We all want to believe people enter our lives with a happy purpose, but I have lost count of the times I am wrong. Life is too short to treat others unkindly, but it’s long enough that we have the time to talk through unpleasant emotions.
One of my goals as a Mother is to teach my children how to navigate difficult situations involving others with tact and patience. It’s not always easy – especially when your mental wellness is on the line. I wish this post was offering advice. But instead I’m offering my story to you – as an example of someone who struggles daily with this question. Why do nice people get taken advantage of?
Hey, I’m in that situation too, I’m trying to become a nicer person and half of my results with some of my friends was being taken advantage of. I would collect books in English class to help once in a while, but now I have a friend who sits literally straight next to the books where they go and they walk over to slam the book down on my desk, obviously giving a realization that i’m being used. Then there is rebounding basketballs and serving food and drinks. It was only like, 3 times at first just to be kind, and now I have to suffer the thought that the only reason my friends want me out is so I can do stuff for them. It’s left me to just release my anger on them.
Caitlin, this is such an insightful post! It’s heartbreaking how often nice people end up being taken advantage of, and I appreciate how you highlighted the underlying reasons. Your suggestions for setting boundaries are so important—definitely something to keep in mind. Thanks for shedding light on this topic!
I really appreciate this post, Caitlin! It’s so true that niceness can sometimes be exploited, and it’s frustrating to see kind people getting taken advantage of. Your insights on setting boundaries and recognizing our own worth are really helpful. Thanks for shedding light on this important topic!
This post really resonated with me! It’s so true that kindness can sometimes be seen as a weakness. I appreciate how you highlighted the importance of setting boundaries while still being a good person. It’s a fine balance, but definitely essential for self-respect!
I agree. Rare to have anyone present in your life that’s in your life without you having to pay the price of admission. Everyone wants something in exchange for something whether it’s tangible or intangible. You never get ‘seen’ without some form of physical or emotional currency being paid to them. In that regard I wonder does anyone ever know anyone here? It seems that all relationships are bargaining and negotiation tools of weaponry for existence. It would be so nice to sit with someone who didn’t want anything other than your presence…a safe place to rest from those that require something out of you.