As a Mom, how long does it take you before you yell/cry? At what moment do you lose your cool? Is it the first time your toddler tells you, “‘No” or is it the tenth? Is it when both kids are crying and you accidentally drop a glass on the kitchen floor? Is it when the toddler wakes the finally sleeping baby or is it when the baby wakes the finally sleeping toddler?
Do you know your breaking point?
We all have our breaking points and mine varies. Some days I have so much patience I wish I could share it with the struggling Moms of the world. Other days… well not so much. I know that I am not alone in feeling like this, which can be comforting. However, I just don’t know how to personally navigate through this time in my life. My stress levels are so high that it’s affecting my health and my relationships with others.
What do you do when you feel like you can’t keep your head above water? Just when I think I’ve got it together, I start sinking. I snap at my daughter for something silly like talking with her pacifier in her mouth. Then she gets mad and tosses her paci across the room so I put her in time out. She screams while in time out for a good thirty minutes. But then, when she has calmed down, she tells me she loves me. She apologizes. And I cry.
I cry because I hate that for the last half hour I’ve felt like my head is going to explode from stress and frustration. I cry because I hate that my daughter has such a bad temper – which is sadly something she has inherited from both of her parents. I cry because I feel like a bad Mom for snapping at her in the first place. I cry because I want to be a better Mom. I cry because I want my daughters to know I am trying my absolute hardest. I cry because even when I’ve reached my breaking point, I want them to know I always love them with all my heart and soul.
Maybe these feelings are normal. Maybe I am having a little bit of postpartum depression going on. Either way, I am acknowledging I’m not 100%. They say there is no way to be a perfect mother, but I wonder why I doubt myself. I question why this all feels so hard and why I cry. We all have different breaking points and maybe feeling imperfect means I am human. As long as my children are safe, fed, clothed, and loved deeply, I must be doing a good job, right?
The sad thing about this is it never gets better. When your children are older you will still cry I truly believe is it part of being a Mom. You always want the best for your children , you put them first but then we are all human. Sometime you just want to say WTH its not all about you I matter too. It passes quickly and most are back to being a Mom who just wants what is best for her children.
Your a good Mom never stop thinking that. Know that as they get older it gets easier ..but don’t fool yourself into thinking it goes away 🙁
I feel like those are all totally normal emotions, especially when you’re still in the midst of all that postpartum stuff and sick too! My 1.5 year old is so feisty and I’m a little teeny bit afraid of someday adding another babe into the mix but I am sure that you’re doing a wonderful job and that your girls know it. You got this!
Sounds like you need a break! I think all moms go through this. I am definitely snappy when I’m overtired or when I just need some time to myself. Maybe you should take a mom’s day out and go see a movie, or get a pedicure, or go out to lunch. It usually helps me. Hire a sitter or have hubby spell you for a few hours. Your sanity is important!!
This 1000x over. I am bookmarking this for those days when I yell at my kids to eat their lunch or pick up their toys (after asking them a bajillion and one times) so I can remember I’m not the only one feeling this way. Thank you for sharing so candidly!
Our girls are almost exactly the same age and this is 100% what I am feeling right now.
Lizzie @ This Happy Life says
I cry for all the same reasons and then some. It can be so hard! I sometimes wonder if there are parents out there who don’t yell, like at all, and if so, how do they do it!?!
Kristen M says
Thank you for sharing this. Know that you are NOT alone! And, you’re doing all the right things!
Being a mom is probably the be hardest thing I’ve ever had to be. I often say my husband is a better parent than I. I think we put more stress on ourselves to be the best mom we can. I struggled with PPD after my second which made the mom/wife/I’m a person too role much more difficult . But once I accepted I can only do so much, and asked for help, I began to move forward. Its so hard to take a break when you’re bneeded so much and so often, but try (even if it’s sleeping in an extra 30 min on the weekend when the hubby is home).
Trista @ The Classy Chaos says
I’m pretty sure you just wrote this post for me. This has been my life for he last few weeks. I am starting to see some of my not so flattering fits come out of my son and I’m horrified that he’s acting like me. And then the little one is just stubborn and strong willed. The oldiest is sensitive and short fused. I continually feel like I’m doing something wrong. I’m so unbalanced, so out of sorts. I cry at the drop of a hat. And it makes, Just like you said, the other relationships tough and the other aspects of life hard. I’m right there with you. Feel free to reach out anytime and I will you! Because I’m a wreck 80% of the time!!