Warning: I am about to complain….a lot…. sorry to be a Debbie Downer today.
It’s just not right when you see a number on a scale that you swore you’d never see again.
I know I am a small girl. I have a petite frame, but muscular legs and arms. My weight is constantly fluctuating depending on how much salt, water, or even fiber that I consume and I notice without even having to step on a scale. My family and friends get mad if I mention anything about my clothes not fitting because they don’t notice a difference in how I look. The fact of the matter is that 3lbs makes a huge difference in how my jeans fit – I can’t even zip them sometimes. I don’t hold my weight in my belly, I hold it in my thighs. Right at the top, on my inner front thigh, in these little pockets that I curse daily.
Stress is one of the leading causes of weight gain/loss for me. When I am sad I either eat everything in sight or I have no appetite and throw up. I can’t predict what will happen in certain situations – for example, when my parents were not getting along a few years ago I couldn’t eat for months. When I was struggling to fight off the anxiety that comes along with dating someone who lives 900 miles away during sophmore year of college, I resorted to eating the grossest food in the dining hall I could find (and maybe drinking a little too much beer).
My New Year’s Resolution was to go back to the healthy lifestyle I lived before the wedding – eating right, working out regularly, and only indulging in the wine on the weekends. Since we moved to Baltimore I have not been adhering to the plan. The reason for this is my new job – I am SO stressed out for 8 hours a day taking care of two little boys that when I get home I just want to sit on my butt with a book/in front of the tv or go to sleep. OR I pour myself a big glass of wine and whip up some super huge fattening meal for myself and Mr. Bear. While I am nannying, I am constantly snacking to make myself feel better for being stressed.
I seriously contemplated writing this blog post because I honestly care about the responses that I could get from some readers. I have never received a negative comment, but it is eventually going to happen. I had to write about how I have been feeling somewhere, and right now I don’t own a journal so my blog won the spot.
I looked into dance classes in our new town – and found a studio – but they only have one class a week and I don’t know if its too late in the year to sign up. I also checked for yoga classes but came up with nothing. I know that when the weather gets better I will be able to get outside and release some stress while the boys are at school for 3 hours but until then – hmmm.
Today is Ash Wednesday and the beginning of Lent. I have given up snacking and every year I am good to adhering to my Lenten promise. Let’s hope 40 days of fasting (or abstaining from snacks) and prayer help this Bear out.
I hear ya! I fluctuate by 3 pounds as well and sometimes it’s so hard. If you find the magic key to stop this, please let me know.
good luck! I am the same way with my body. I feel like years of soccer and lacrosse gave me legs that I will always wish were 2 sizes smaller. Good luck with everything and honestly, having a good mind set is half the battle.
Go you! At least your trying to stay healthy I’m not so lucky I work all day and i snack on whatever I need to hit up the gym but I’m just so tired after work I just can’t make myself maybe tonight I can lol..
I can understand how you feel, and I also know what its like to feel as though you can’t really talk about it to other people. If I complain that Im a bit bloated or just feeling a bit “chunky”, my husband gets so annoyed. I just think verbalizing it holds me accountable to get moving at the gym and to eat healthier. I hope that this Lent helps you to get your diet on track. Good luck!
I totally understand where you’re coming from. I’m petite, too (about 5’1 on a good day and about 120 pounds). I can tell a difference in the way my clothes fit when my weight fluctuates just a little bit. I gained about 10 pounds over the course of two years and literally, my clothes would not fit. On taller people, 10 pounds isn’t that big of a deal. I lost it again, but it’s a constant battle of eating right and working out to maintain it. Vent all you want, girl. It’s your blog!
Hang in there!Your life has been super busy– the wedding, the move, new job, etc. I get tired just reading about your busy life 🙂
Can you work out in the middle of day while the lil ones are at school?
I understand your struggle! Since having moved away from family and friends, I have definetly noticed a hike in stress which for me leads to munching and eating “comfort” food…and not working out as much as I should. You aren’t alone! It’s ok to vocalize it, I think hearing it makes us realize what we are struggling with. My next step: find out where the stress is coming from and try to find a way I will enjoy releasing it.
Feel better! I know how hard that can be. I’ve seen my weight climb a bit in the last couple months and am working on getting it off. Don’t stress too much, you’ll be fine.
xoxo!
Hi just found your bloggy blog! Super cute! Sorry your having a down day! Hope it gets better soon! I feel the same way when I step on the scales Yucko…. can totally change your mood!
Hang in there….Don’t stress too much….
Hope you have a better day….
Summer :0)
don’t feel bad about complaining! it’s your blog and you can say whatever you’d like 🙂
I know how you feel! What about a work out DVD you could do at home? The 30 day shred, or a dance workout?
Hopefully putting it out there will hold you accountable! Good luck! 🙂
I love you. And I know I owe you an email, and believe me, you’ve got a good one coming your way a little later…
But until then, I will just say that I know exactly how you feel. Even though I’m 5’10 (yes, I’m a giant…but since you’ve agreed to love me anyway despite my Amazon-iness, I don’t mind saying that there), but the only place that I gain weight is smack dab in the middle of my stomach and on my cheeks. I have these little bitty chicken legs and arms, and then BOOM. Beer belly. And said beer belly is brought on by the strangest things (none of which have anything to do with alcohol! Instead, it’s sandwiches. Or too much coffee! WTH?) I can wake up one morning with the flattest belly and eat semi-healthily all day and wake up the next day looking like I’m 3 months pregnant! It’s so frustrating, so depressing, and it makes me sooo freaking irritable! I, too, am an emotional eater and I never know which extreme I’m going to get when I’m stressed out.
Hang in there, girlie. You aren’t alone! And I big puffy heart you to itty bitty bits!
OMG! I totally know how you feel! I have a small frame too! Right now, my dress pants feel tight which means I need to be better about working out and eating better. I have some taller friends that are bigger than me that always hate on me when I complain. Its annoying!
Don’t apologize for venting..we ALL go through it! I’m the same exact way..I’m a small frame and though I can see and feel when I pack on a few pounds everyone else looks at me like “SHUT UP!” It’s the worst when you go to button your jeans and they won’t button! And whenever I’m with the boy all I want to do is cook yummy food and then EAT all of it! Hang in there, at least you have a positive attitude and are willing to reach to your goals!
I am right there with you, girl! Being petite is great sometimes, but it really stinks when it comes to weight 🙁 You just need to find what works for you and stay motivated so you stick with it. That’s my problem…I can never stick to anything 🙁 Stay positive!
I know how hard it is to talk about stuff like this, I’m a small girl too and it’s hard to try and explain yourself when all you hear back is “but you’re so tiny! You can’t be worried about weight!” etc. People have to understand that yes, we may be smaller in stature, but we’re allowed to not feel ok about our bodies! I wrote a post about this a few weeks ago. I’m still thin, yes, but my muscle tone and general body is no where like it used to be. And I’ve been trying to eat better, and go to the gym more. Having that girl at the bridal store ask if I’ve been eating a lot lately certainly didn’t help. The wench.
Hang in there, and I’m sure after getting back into your routines you’ll start to feel better and back to yourself again. 🙂
I feel you! I am under a certian weight now and I never want to go above it, I have been trying so hard to be conscious of my weight and to treat it right. Don’t stress, choose healthy snacks, wine and pizza on the weekends, and workout whenever you can, however you can. You have the right mindset!
I don’t think it’s ever too late to join a dance class, there’s got to be one with rolling admissions in your area, I don’t know how far you are from me, but I think you’re like 30 minutes away, there’s some around me with rolling admissions! Same thing for yoga, try joining Groupon, they often have discounts on yoga/dance/workout classes in the MoCo, Carroll County, and Baltimore County areas!
And if you ever need to vent, screw the haters, it’s your blog!
XOXO
totally feel you sister! hang in there!
Wow. Your the second blogger who has read my mind of late! I deal with the SAME. SAME. SAME exact situation. It’s hard for some people to understand that a couple of pounds can make a significant difference in someone. It does me – my body tells me that I’m carrying extra and it doesn’t like it. I really let myself go for about two years in college – weighed the most I’ve ever weighed. NOT ONE PERSON was concerned about my health, of being overweight. When I lost weight – well, what a different story! People found it appropriate to ask me if I was well, ask me why I was losing weight, and if everything in my life was going okay. It really bothers me that people can’t understand how one desires to take care of themselves. Why is it that we’re given a hard time for expressing concern for ourselves, even if outwardly it isn’t ‘noticeable’? I say, do what you feel is best for your body. Afterall, no one knows your body better than you. If you EVER need anyone to vent to, please feel free to contact me. I’m right there with ya!
PS – I’m in the shape I want to be and couldn’t be happier! I know you’ll get to where you want super soon 🙂
PPS – SORRY FOR THE LONG COMMENT!
I just found your blog! While I don’t have the same frame as you, my mom is 5’1 and she has the same problem. Just because you have a petite frame doesn’t mean you aren’t allowed to complain!
PS- I’m giving up sweets for Lent, yikes!
Ugh, body issues.
I totally know them… and it has taken me A LONG time to get comfy in my skin (and three kids later I am feeling a bit better about it all…)
Don’t you feel bad about blogging about WHATEVER you would like… that’s the bottom line. Ummmm pretty sure I whine about every second blog post right?? And you all still put up with me 🙂
Love ya lady… hang in there. Hopefully the nannying job gets a bit better too… again, I know the stress (3 crazy kids gets to me on good days!!) *Hugs*
Arggh, I have the same problem. My husband and I do not like to limit our favorite foods and wine too often so we started training for a half marathon. Unfortunately, I’ve been eating more carbs and drinking more water as we’re running, so I haven’t noticed a change in my weight at all. In fact, I think I’ll gained a pound or two! I guess I can attribute it to muscle, but I’m not sure. I think all your photos are very flattering and I think you’re doing great! The best I can suggest is swapping the junk food for cheese sticks, nuts, and veggies! Best of luck!!!!
http://www.operationbeautiful.com
you are wonderful the way you are 🙂
I am struggling too, which is why I am blogging about my weight, exercise…I think that holds you more accountable. And snacking is fine as long as it’s not processed foods. Have you read Skinny Bitch? I don’t agree with everything in it, but it definitely changed my viewpoint on food. I think twice about every single thing I put in my body. Naturally Thin by Bethenny Frankel is goood, too, but it’s not as eye opening. Good luck! And I think you look fantastic!
Hey girl…I have a thought for you! I’m a personal trainer and metabolic specialist and one of the problems we often see is weight gain from consuming too few calories. I noticed that you were on a “anti-snacking” campaign for lent and I wonder if you’ve dropped down to too few cals per day. If so, it can cause the body to store fat from the food you DO eat because it thinks it’s in a “famine” condition AND it may cause your metabolism to slow to adjust to what you are giving it. Being as small and muscular as you are, that’s a definite possiblity! Just something to think about…although I think you look great! You might just need to add the snack cals back into your meals and see if you don’t level back out!
Hope it’s ok I left unsolicited advice! 😉