Last year at this exact moment … I was hiding from Mr. Bear because he had some nasty sickness and I didn’t want to have that sickness on my wedding day.
Then… one year ago tomorrow, I came down with the sickness… and boy did it suck. But by Saturday I didn’t care and I had the best day of my life marrying my best friend and celebrating with everyone we both love.
Here is a direct quote from how I was feeling on this very night last year:
“I can’t describe how I’ve been feeling lately. I am so so so excited – but also worried that this is all a big dream and I am going to wake up any minute, sitting in my bed in my parents house, 18 years old, and in high school. I never thought when I met Mr. H almost six and a half years ago he would be my husband. I may have dreamt about – and wrote in my diary about what an amazing kisser he was, haha – but I certainly couldn’t have imagined I would be so lucky to find my soul mate, my best friend, and the love of my life on that ginormous cruise ship.”
My feelings are definitely a bit different tonight. I have this weird sadness in my tummy… that a whole year flew by without being knowing. Then again, we accomplished so many things and made SO many changes in our life together, that its no wonder the year snuck by.
Sunday is our one year anniversary. Am I supposed to be excited? Am I supposed to feel a bit sad?
How crazy is it that Mr. Bear had a surprise trip planned to Florida for this weekend and the hotel we were to stay at had a fire and the pool/bar area burned down?
How about the fact that Mr. Bear is leaving tomorrow for California and doesn’t come back until Friday night? That means I have to sit here all week, alone, feeling confused, nostalgic, depressed, anxious… basically a big nasty hot mess.
Right now I don’t know what to think… or feel… any advice?
aww honey I don’t have any advice because I haven’t had the blessing to celebrate a 1 year anniversary of marriage. So my advice may not be all that great, but…I think it’s completely understandable to have all those feelings. I got to following your blog just about a year ago as well and i know you and Mr. Bear have been through SO much this past year. Moving, job switching, being newlyweds…it’s been a busy year for you two! I think it’s ok you feel the mixture of emotions. What I think you should focus on is the positives. yes, you do have to be alone for the week but think of how amazing you will feel on Sunday – you’ve had a healthy, happy, exciting 1st year of marriage together. Today you are both healthy, both are working jobs you love, and are building a home together. Try to remember the positives through the haze! Think of all the positives you’ve had – you are both achieving your dreams and you are expanding your talents (helllo mrs. southern bell chef!)
Sorry if that was a little long, but I can understand why you may not be all chipper, excited and giddy but try to keep your chin up. It’s ok to be a little sad it went so quickly, but try to be thankful for all the positive memories you’ve had and how those will continue to build over the many years to come.
Love ya, and if you need anything – vent or not – you know where to find me 😉
Wow Corinne said it all best! I so agree with her you need to look at the great place your at now. Not everyone gets to achieve what you and B have. I know it is sad to have him go away but he will be back and you will have a great weekend together. Love You Mommy…Hugs
Ms. BWIT says
WElll…. I can’t beat Corrine – bc she is the best, but here is what I would do:
1. Pick up an Emily Giffin book and get to reading.
2. Watch a TV marathon or two – I would watch a whole season of the Barefoot Contessa, but that’s me and I’m weird.
3. Cook – a lot.
4. Think about all the stuff that is to come and is still a ways away – maybe. (hint…babies 😉
I think you and B have a very exciting relationship and so this Sunday you have a lot to celebrate! AND! next year we can take an anniversary cruise – with Corrine of course 😉
I think an anniversary cruise sounds amazing! 🙂
Corrine you said it best and i agree, totally focus on all the positives that is going on and what all you have accomplished as a couple and how you’ve grown so much over the year. I would recommend treating yourself to a massage or a pedi/mani , that always makes me feel good and relaxed. Also, a nice glass of wine or favorite drink of your choice with a good chick flick or a book! Hope this helps 🙂
Oh Corinne – always the best advice! I can’t do better than that but I am sending you some hugs.
The first year is such an adjustment period and you guys have had your share of adjustments my friend.
I hope you can find some things to keep you busy while the mister is gone on business again – wish I was closer and I would take you out for some drinks and we could cook a big feast and just relax!!